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Student life was not always easy for me. In start it was full of fear stress and confusion. Every day feel like pressure. Pressure of study pressure of exams pressure of what people will say. I was always thinking what if I fail what if I do wrong what if I cannot become something in life. These thoughts make my mind heavy.
When I was new in student life I feel very scared. Everything was new teachers new classmates new environment. I was not comfortable to talk with anyone. Even asking simple question feel difficult. I think people will judge me or laugh at me. Because of this I stay quiet most of the time.
Exams was biggest fear for me. Nights before exam I cannot sleep properly. My heart beat fast and my mind keep thinking negative things. Even when I study I feel like I dont know anything. And when I see other students confident I feel more weak inside.
Slowly I start losing confidence. I compare myself with others. Some students very smart some very active some very confident. I feel like I am nothing in front of them. This comparison make my fear more strong. I stop believing in myself.
But one thing change everything slowly. Time and small small steps.
One day I realize if I keep living in fear I will never move forward. So I decide to change little by little. First I start speaking in class even if my voice was low. Then I start asking questions even if I feel shy. At start it was very hard but slowly it become normal.
I also stop comparing myself too much. I understand everyone has different journey. Someone is fast someone is slow but everyone moving. So I focus on my own progress. Even small improvement make me happy.
Another important thing was learning from mistakes. Before I feel ashamed when I do mistake. But later I understand mistake is part of learning. If I dont make mistake I cannot grow. So I stop fearing mistakes and start learning from them.
With time my fear become less. I start feeling little confident. I can talk with people I can share my ideas I can face exams with more calm mind. I am not perfect but I am better than before.
Student life also start giving me freedom. Freedom to think freedom to choose freedom to understand myself. I start knowing what I like what I want to do in future. This feeling was very new for me.
Now when I look back I see big change. From fear to freedom it was not one day journey. It take time patience and effort. But it is possible.
I still have some fears sometimes. But now I know how to handle them. I dont run away from them I face them.
Student life is not only about books and exams. It is about learning life lessons building confidence and finding yourself.
And maybe the biggest lesson I learn is this. Fear will always be there but if you take small steps you can slowly turn it into freedom.