The past few weeks were heavy and hard to swallow. The only two people I relied on were myself and my last partner. Unfortunately, compounded negative events led us to this point where we need time to be alone. To heal separately.
If you’ve read my emotional and kinda disturbing blogs, you’d probably know how I’ve been coping with these unfortunate events.
I’ve always been the type of person who disliked burdening people with my problems but recently I discovered that I needed help. That at this time I cannot really be alone.
Fortunately, I have people in my life that are simply waiting for me to be open with them. They know how stubborn I can be. I decline unwanted help but now I started reaching out to people for their ears and guidance.
One of the people who I wanted to confide in was Kiara. Kiara is a very patient and quiet kind of person. I haven’t known her for that long but I found her presence comforting. Even if I’ve wronged her so many times, she’d accept my apology and tell me it’s okay.
I asked Kiara if she was available to meet me. Fortunately, she managed to squeeze me into her tight schedule.
We decided to meet at Glorietta 3 to ride a P2P bus to Las Pinas.
During this time I’ve been living squammy mode with my friend in Rizal because I couldn’t be left alone with you know -- myself haha.
Unaware of the travel time, I asked my friend what time I should leave Rizal to make it to Makati on time.
I left Rizal around 4:45 am and caught a UV to Ayala.
At 6 am, I arrived at Makati. 3 hours before Kiara and I was supposed to meet.
I went into a Ministop to pass some time and since I haven’t eaten anything for 24hrs I went to have some chicken and rice. It's been a while since I've had Uncle John's.
I sat down. Unwrapped the paper from the white rice. Stabbed the white rice multiple times with a fork to try and soften it then poured the gravy on top. I took a piece of skin from the chicken leg I chose. My first bite was just me thinking.
This white rice is dying. Give or take 4 hours it will spoil.
I ate at a slower pace than usual. Normally, I would finish a meal in 5 mins. Yes I know, I have to chew my food properly but I grew up with 3 other siblings. Eating was war.
As I was eating, there was an old man wearing a Makati safety uniform who sat next to me. He unpacked the food from his white sando bag. He glanced at me and remarked "Mam kain po tayo"(let's eat) before digging in his lunch. Then he excitedly showed me his pansit and told me that he had purchased it from a street vendor for only 25 pesos(.45 USD).
I smiled at him and said “sige lang ho. Kain po” (common reply like No. I'm good thank you but more polite). He smiled and started eating his food.
I choked.
Suddenly, I felt a burst of emotions within me. I was unsure what it was. Was it because of his kind gesture? Was it because I thought it must be nice to smile for small wins like scoring a cheap but delicious meal? was it because of his warmth? Or was it because I got caught off guard?
Happiness?
A kind gesture comes a long way. I never expected kindness from other people aside from those close to me.
Jealousy?
How I wish I could smile like him.
I finished my meal in 40mins. A new record. As I stood up, I said goodbye to the man who was sitting beside me. He smiled and said “ingat po kayo” ( take care)
I had 2 hrs of waiting left. I decided to wait at the P2P bus terminal for Kiara. I sat down and opened my book. As I was reading, the conductor opened a sando bag (plastic bag). Inside was puto (steamed rice cake) of different colors. I watched him from my peripheral vision. He removed the transparent cover...
Stretched out his arms to me while holding his snack. “Mam kain po tayo” ( let's eat)
I looked at him, smiled, and said “ay salamat po. Sige lang po”(Thank you. Go ahead). He then proceeded in eating his snack.
I choked again.
Sitting down next to the conductor. Waiting for Kiara to arrive. I began to ponder.
How can these old men be so kind to strangers? Is this just a normal Filipino thing? I doubt. This was the first time I experienced something like this.
Even though it was out of courtesy, I really appreciate their gestures.
It made me think.
Maybe I should smile more often.
It made me wonder.
If I could extend the same kindness to others.
I guess these are things we tend to ignore most of the time because there’s always something to do or somewhere to get to. When you slow down and stuff like this happens, it just feels simple and peaceful.