First off
Alright so I guess I can confirm that I have an internet addiction. And guess what? I'm pretty sure I'm not alone and it will only be in the next couple of years that some BBC documentary would come out to sensitize people on the reality of internet addiction because you know, it doesn't seem to be a big deal yet. However I feel like it's something we need to talk about because addictions are very very strange things and I feel the need to discuss my understanding of it. Not that any of you should really care for it and that's fine..I guess. It will most go off unheard and unnoticed in the digital universe but it's important for me to let it out because it's an escape for me and it helps me make sense of what's happening to me. It helps me understand the problem of why I struggle with productivity. So with that I guess it's settled, I will talk about addiction in all its glory because why not.
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for the most part we are all this guy
Addiction
How it works or At least how I'd like to think it works
It's quite strange, addiction is the end part of this cycle that brings temporary relief that comes from engaging in whatever the trigger activity is. It's this repetition of hunger pleasure disappointment and even more hunger. The hungers or desires could range from anything from sex, to food, to attention, to boredom, to fame, to substances,to anything. It's rather strange sort of animalistic in a sense. It's an insight into human nature and human desire (for lack of better word) however it is extremely fleeting and highly unfulfilling. It is the proof of the futility of ambition. In a sense addiction is interesting, it is compulsive human behaviour that is even observed even in infancy. An example of this is giving a baby its first sip of soda or candy, the chemical reaction in the brain of infant after tasting the product is so lasting and powerful that it compels the child to want and crave for more and this chemical reaction stays the same even up until their senile years and this phenomenon is responsible for what we know as consumer culture today and so in a sense addiction is responsible for powering the economy of this world.
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The complusive drive towards short span intense pleasure is the core motivating factor for millions and millions of people working striving. It's simply because they want to be able to afford to fulfil their wildest desires. Short bursts of happiness as I would like to call it. Someway, somehow there is a link between bursts of pleasure and desire and happiness. I admit I don't understand really well even though I have my own addiction and I can observe myself and see how it affects me and even understand to an extent why I entertain them yet I still am unable to crack the code as to how it links to pleasure until now.
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You see addiction to anything is a symptom of psychological deficiency. That's what I believe and just hear me out for a second. Desire is neither good nor bad just like pain it is neither good nor bad. Both serve as motivating factors spurning us on, without either of them life as we know it would be meaningless well at least that's what I'd like to believe. Maybe sometime in the future I would get more insight and my opinions will change and I would become wiser but as of today this is how I see the world. So if this is the case then addiction isn't going anywhere because if people have desire then they would find ways to fulfil them and they would easily choose the quickest easiest route
Why doesn't it work or At least why I think it doesn't work
The impaulsive nature of human behaviour.
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That's one reason why it doesn't work. It's because addiction relies on impaulsivity and impaulsivity is in direct opposition to rationale. Somewhere somehow with the human lies the mind which is the believed seat of consciousness and rationale which is coated/shelled within the body of an "instinctive animal". Someway somehow these two antithecal entities have to co-exist with each other. One cannot overshadow the other as it would create an imbalance that would fracture the other. This dynamic is very important especially as it concerns the psychology behind addiction. On the one hand the body or the mind is either fractured or flawed and is in desire for a fix any fix however if just any fix is used the mind punishes the body by bringing back the pain and the hunger even harder.
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Until the right cure is found this cycle will simply repeat itself until eventually the individual self destructs, ended by a perfect blend of pleasure and chaos. The truth is none of us seem to be beyond it at least to best of my knowledge and I know this because I observe it even in the people I look up to. There still exists that internal struggle, the conflict between the ethereal spirit and the mortal flesh and it expresses itself in the things they become addicted to whether their phones or the internet or porn or attention whatever it is, there's always something that they desire that sounds them, there's always something that they are afraid off that they avoid and I just sit and wonder to myself; Am I special? Are they different? Is it worth it? Is there a solution? Does there need to be one? Am I crazy? Who thinks about such things? What the hell is wrtiongkbgffkbv??
sighs
Conclusions
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In the end I don't know. I have always being a boy fascinated by the world around him and the people around him. I've never been able to see things conventionally, I've never been able to just sit there and not find out answers and so this lead me to asking questions, some questions even leading me into trouble with some more learned folks. As time has past I have learnt and am still in the process of learning, unlearning and relearning. I guess I got it from my father because the older I get the more I realize how I am just like him. In the end you really cannot run away from who you are. It is a major influence of what your identity is.
Well that's all for now if you did read through all this I urge you not to take all of this seriously as it is simply the ramblings of a pondering mind and the memoirs of a reverse ideologue. That's what I'm going to start calling most of these by the way
Memoirs of a reverse ideologue..
Good bye..