I have come to realise that sometimes, the same things we expect from others are the very things we also forget to give. This is because we are humans who can easily forget things.
Many of us, including me, have felt disappointed when people don't seem to appreciate our kindness. Imagine giving your time, your money, or even a little help, but the next day, it feels like these people do not value what you did for them, like they just moved on as if nothing ever happened. Trust me, your heart might feel heavy about such.
Recently, I had one of those moments, which humbled me instantly, and it made me smile at myself. I went for a house fellowship one Sunday evening at a member's place, and because of the rain, others couldn't show up. After waiting for them for an hour and not seeing them, we prayed together, and the man was kind enough to give me some plantains.
This was something I had been craving and couldn't get around my area. You must have guessed how excited I was to be given freely just like that. I thanked him immediately, and I truly meant it. But according to Yoruba culture, appreciation isn't a one-day thing. You're expected to remember the next day and maybe even the day after when you see the person to say, "Thank you for yesterday or the other day." This is just to show that the gift wasn't taken for granted.
Guess what? I forgot.
I met the man in church days later, but it didn't occur to me, not until I got home and realised my mistake.
It wasn't intentional. I was just carried away, and by the time I remembered, I laughed because I saw myself in the same shoes as those I once felt sad about. They say we don't truly understand others until we are in their shoes or something similar. I realised that sometimes, it's not that people are ungrateful, but that they are busy, forgetful humans trying their best.
Since then, I have learned to let go of that quiet hurt when it feels like people don't show gratitude enough. If I choose to do good, it's because I understand what it truly means, especially as the Holy Scripture has commanded it, and not because I am expecting someone to keep thanking me every time. The Bible even said we must not be weary in doing good.
Sometimes, I don't even mind as I do good willingly and as the spirit leads me to. And who knows? Maybe the next time, I will keep remembering to say thank you even more than twice. I usually remember things done for me even in months, but that, sometimes, like this day, I forget. That makes me human, but one thing I do also wish is that people realise, just like I did, and not see it as being ungrateful.
This doesn't mean there are not those who choose not to appreciate things because they do it intentionally, especially when they see such things as invaluable to them. For these kinds of people, that shouldn't stop us from doing good because surely, God will keep blessing the hand that gives and helps.
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