Finally, after staying silent for a long time, I decided to write something on Hive. I haven't forgotten about Hive. I was always here, but didn't feel like writing or posting anything. I stayed connected with the communities and friends and shared my update with them. Even though I took a lot of attempts to write something, I couldn't. I won't say it was laziness; I was just busy dealing with life-related things. So, even though I wanted to send you New Year wishes and wanted to share my recent Xmas memories and travel stories, I couldn't. I guess the reality of real life kept me busy fullest.
So what's going on?? A lot and not sure where to begin my stories...After dealing with mental health treatment for a long period of time, I finally have a window to concentrate on my life. It's like waking up after a long, deep sleep. Maybe time for me was stopped for a while, hypothetically, but in reality, the world moved faster than I expected. There was a point when I regretted and felt that I had probably taken too much time focusing on my treatment. But later, I told myself that after facing so much in life, this long break was a necessity where I only focused on my well-being and nothing else. And that's why today I can think of starting life from scratch. There will always be difficulties, and in life, probably I will face more hardship in the future, but the lessons I learned from the past and about myself are precious for upcoming life challenges. Can't believe that I am writing such motivating words... LOL...
For me, acceptance was the key factor in my recovery. I learned to accept, I learned not to feel ashamed of who I am, and to share my feelings. I learned to feel my emotions again and accept. Even though my own people never understood what I was going through, that doesn't matter anymore. Some remind me that these 3 years of treatment were a waste, but that doesn't matter because they were not in my shoes...People have the freedom to judge others, and I guess it's the easiest thing to do, and my job is to mind my own business. To grow this kind of mindset took me 3 years of treatment... Hahaha...
I couldn't do much traveling last year, I mean, in 2025, but still I managed to have a mini vacation to reward myself. I finished my training with a reputed company and learned a lot about the Dutch labor market. I fall behind careerwise but that training helped me get back on my track and helped me build a professional profile and connection. Currently, I am educating myself in the world of AI (artificial intelligence), which I am enjoying a lot. No, I am not learning coding. I left it for the professionals, but besides technology development, AI has much more to offer, and I want to grab that opportunity for my career, and want to be part of sustainability and ethics. AI is fun as long as you are open to learn and have ideas...
In December, after finishing my training, I went to Germany and France and enjoyed beautiful Christmas markets and cities... It was so nice, I took thousands of photos and videos. My current focus is on professional growth because I want stability in life. But the universal truth is that when there are so many positives, negativities remain hidden. I was sick and spent many days in bed doing nothing. I had to go through a small operation and had to pause and detach myself from everything. I had several bad days when I felt like doing nothing and was just lying on the bed. I had those days when I cried hard, felt nothing good would happen in life. Then again new day started, and again new emotions arrived. I still see my therapist, but not often. I give myself more time and energy now rather than depending on the professionals only.
Depression and trauma are part of my life now. They will stay with me and might stay hidden, and will come from time to time. PTSD is no joke, even though many don't believe in such a disease. There are no promises that they will never return and are gone for good. Especially, depression is something that stays more or less, and it's upto me how I will handle my problems in the future. I recovered a lot, took time to heal, and am still on a healing journey, but if I say I recovered fully, it will be a lie.
Until next time...
Love
Priyan...
I am
.... An architect, a dreamer, and a passionate writer who loves to write about life. I try to present my own perspective and experiences. Please leave your feedback and criticism because it's the only way I can know and reach your mind and thoughts easily...
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