When the Father Is Always Away
I have come across many talks, discussions, and arguments about situations where the father in a family is not always available at home due to the demand of work and probably live in a different city or village, while the mother is the one at home, taking care of the family with her physical presence, she handles the daily responsibilities and also pays all the bills, even though the money is usually supplied by the husband that's away.
It is very encouraged that, in situations like this, the mother should always find a way to let the children know that even though the father is not usually at home, he is the one footing all the bills. This prevents the children from having negative view of their father.
There was a family in the village where I stayed. The man worked in the far away city, while the mother and the children stayed in the village, where the children attended one of the best schools in the village. The man barely came home, and the children began to direct all their respect and honour toward their mother because she was the one they were close to. They saw her providing for all their needs, and the woman also did not let the children know that their father was the actual provider of the money.
There were seasons when the family struggled to pay school fees because the father had not sent money at that time. During such moments, the wife would go out and sort out the school fees by herself after a little delay. After the payment had already been made, the husband would later send the money to her. To the children, it appeared as though their mother was the one doing everything financially.
We got to know all of this when the man visited one weekend. That Saturday evening, there was a serious fight in the house. The man vented his anger publicly to everyone that rushed to the house to separate the fight. He narrated that one of his daughters, who was 13yrs old gave him a bad attitude. When he confronted her, the daughter murmured and said that it was her mother who has been taking care of them and that he was not welcomed in the house.
Hearing this, the man went to confront the mother about the bad values and mindset that had been instilled in the children. From there, things escalated badly and it led to the shouts we heard that evening.