At least for me, there always seems so much is left to be done no matter how far you've come already. I don't know why the journey ahead is held in higher regard than the journey so far gone.
Isn't the past real or our memories are calibrated towards diminishing what we've already accomplished?
You know those moments when you're told "the best is yet to come!" after having achieved a significant milestone but your cup seems three quarters full already and you're wondering what it'll be like for the cup to overflow and can you even handle it?
Trying to pinpoint where the peak of one's life, whether it has occurred already or is yet to occur is almost like a trivial pursuit.
I'm getting more understanding of the uncertainty of the journey ahead with also less revisiting the past because I want to undo my attachments to what was to give more space to what could become.
It seems to me the present is forever stuck in a transitional period between what has been and what is to become.
Lean Into The Source
There's a friend of mine that is categorically tilted towards the latter, what is to become is mostly what he talks about and focuses on, like the future is already here even when the present hasn't gone to bed yet.
Similar to borrowed convictions, I lean into and tap from his enthusiastic perception of the future whenever the current moment seems too unbearable.
Borrowing perception is quite different from borrowing conviction, the perception only holds when one is at a close proximity to the source of the perception.
This could be understood in two ways.
First, constant reinforcement through direct contact with its source. Unlike convictions, which can take root in our minds and persist independently, perceptions are more fragile and ephemeral.
How differently you might view a challenging situation when you're with an optimistic friend versus when you're alone at 2 AM wrestling with the same thoughts could be a good example here.
Second, the temporary nature of borrowed perception creates a kind of emotional dependency that is far less sustainable than borrowed conviction.
Elusive Expansion
Both trap one into a sense of dependency that I find remotely resembles getting used to taking an addictive drug to get inspired to do one's best work.
Artists know the felling well of having a portal to expanded states of consciousness. Most of these trips are quite memorable and you can spent the rest of your life trying to replicate it without any lasting satisfaction.
Meanwhile, the journey still continues, the past like a shadow follows you along, the future is right under your nose but you'll rather look at the horizon for that next transformative moment.
Like wearing someone else's prescription glasses, the world comes into focus, but only as long as you keep them on.
Remove the glasses and oh well, you're back to squinting at a world that refuses to come into focus on its own.
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