While my brother was serving (NYSC) Nigeria youth service corps, they would sometimes call my mom to ask for money or foodstuffs. Whenever they called and I was with my mom, I would stand against them and tell my mom not to give them anything. I would say, "Aren't they receiving a salary? They should be able to save some of that money!" I thought they were reckless with their finances and didn't know how to save. At the time, the federal government was paying 19,800 as allowance. Later, when it was my turn, the allowance had increased to 33,000. Don't even ask me how much I saved because no be me save alawee , na alawee saved me.😩 I regret those times when I stood against my brothers and told my mom not to send foodstuff to them and to ask them to save. I'm sorry, brother.
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Until you walk in someone's shoes, don't say they're not doing enough or that they're lazy. Until you experience their pain, don't say they don't know how to pray or that they're not serious about their life. You can't feel someone's pain as they do until you go through it yourself. So, never judge or assume someone is not serious about their life.
We should never judge anyone if we have not walk in their shoes.
As I reflected on my past judgments, I realized that my brothers had been facing struggles I wasn't aware of. They had responsibilities, debts, and pressures that made it hard for them to save. I remembered the times they would call my mom, not just for financial help but also for emotional support. They were struggling, and I was too blind to see it.
image sourceI learned a valuable lesson: empathy is the key to understanding, and understanding is the key to compassion. I'm grateful for the experience and the opportunity to make amends. Now, whenever I'm tempted to judge someone, I remember my brothers' stories and choose empathy instead.
As I continued on my journey of empathy and understanding, I realized that the same principles applied to other areas of my life. I started to listen more deeply to my friends, colleagues, and even strangers. I began to see that everyone has a story, a struggle, and a desire to be heard.
And so, I continue to listen, to learn, and to grow. I continue to see the humanity in everyone, even when it's hard. Especially when it's hard. Because in the end, we are all one, connected through our shared struggles and our shared humanity.