Some time ago, I traveled. On my way back, I joined a public car with some people I knew. As we were about to settle into the car, they asked me to sit in front with the driver, the same seat Yoruba people commonly call “yópà (driver and I sharing the same sit).” I calmly refused.
Let me be clear: I was fully ready to pay my transport fare. My refusal had nothing to do with money or entitlement. That day, I was not feeling well physically, and I knew that sitting in that tight space would be uncomfortable and could worsen how I felt. I understood my body, my limits, and my condition, and I chose to honor that. Unfortunately, my refusal was misunderstood.
Because the car was full of people we all knew, they assumed I was being proud or disrespectful. No one said it directly, but sometimes words are not needed. I could see it clearly in their eyes, in their silence, and in their body language. Judgments were made quietly, and conclusions were drawn without a single honest conversation.
What struck me the most was this: any one of them could have taken that seat. But because they believed I was the youngest, or perhaps because of my stature, they felt I should be the one to sacrifice my comfort. They expected me to inconvenience myself so that everyone else could remain comfortable.
Till today, whenever I remember that moment, I do not regret saying no. That experience opened my eyes to a painful but important truth about life: many people will choose their comfort over your well-being. Not because they are evil, but because selfishness often comes naturally to the human heart. Many people do not stop to ask how you feel, as long as things are working fine for them.
This is why learning to say no is not weakness; it is wisdom. The Bible teaches us to guard our hearts and to walk in discernment. Even Jesus, who was full of love and compassion, knew when to withdraw, when to rest, and when to say no to unnecessary pressure. He did not explain Himself to everyone, and He did not allow guilt to control His decisions.
Silence, many times, is mistaken for humility, but silence without wisdom can slowly destroy a person. When you keep accepting what hurts you just to please others, you lose yourself in the process. People may applaud your “niceness,” but they will rarely protect you.
Do not be deceived , not everyone has your best interest at heart, except those who have truly allowed the Holy Spirit to work in them. Many would rather squeeze you than squeeze themselves. Many would rather see you uncomfortable than adjust their own position.
So learn this lesson early: say no when something does not sit well with your spirit, your body, or your peace. Do not let anyone make you feel guilty for protecting yourself. Do not allow people to label you as proud or disrespectful simply because you chose yourself. Stand firmly on your no. Stand confidently on your yes. And trust God to give you the wisdom, strength, and peace to walk in discernment.