The most beautiful feeling I have ever felt was being understood and I think of it as one of the most important parts of being human. Nobody has taught me this but learnt it from my own experience and the way I connect with people. We all know that, we don't want to be misunderstood but to be understood genuinely.
In 2024, my like took a turn and it was not going in a good way. I would say it was a downfall and I was going through depression. I was very lonely, was dealing with too many regrets and burdens. So, I thought maybe if I share my feelings with someone then I could feel better. Then I contacted one of my close friends.
I called Maya she was a close female friend of mine, we studied in the same school before. When I began to share my problems with her she didn't give me any reactions, which was kinda weird to me.
I kept sharing but it didn't feel like she understood what I was saying. Like she was not bothered about it. In a while, I felt disappointed because she kept nodding quickly as if she wanted me to finish the conversation fast.
I thought maya would at least care to ask me about my feelings. But she suddenly changed the topic. I felt really bad because it felt like she didn't care about me at all. That’s not what I expected from her.
After few days later when I asked her why she did that, then she replied that she thought if she changes the topic then I would stop feeling bad because I kept rewinding bad situations in my head and got stuck with those bad feelings.
To be honest at that moment it kinda felt rude but I understood later that it was just because she couldn't understand me. That day, I came across the thought that even if someone listening to me it doesn’t mean they would understand me. Like both are two different things, listening is not the same as truly understanding someone.
After, that I also noticed the habit of mine doing the same thing. I was listening to give a reply without trying to understand someone. Then I began to pay more attention to how I listen to others. I gradually stopped listening just to reply, and tried my best to understand.
Well, we all must accept that it's a human nature that we always think about our own ideas first before putting someone else's feelings. Like we would often compare our pain, our journey with others’ experiences but never try to understand things from their side.
Like comparing who suffered the most? But everyone has their own journey what's painful to me might not be a big deal to the other person. In this way we could never understand each other.
Well, understanding needs patience and not everone is capable for that. But if someone wants to start changing then they needs to slow down, start asking questions, and try to put themselves in other shoes to understand what the other person is feeling.
There was once a not very close friend of mine but he gave me different kind of experience. His name is Mikel was sharing his stuff then I opened up and started to share my personal journey and this time, things felt different.
It was one the finest conversation I ever had with someone like way too smooth. This time I was not rushed to finish my setrnce instead he only asked me few questions. And to be honest, I didn't feel threatened by his questions it felt like warmth. Mikel was always good listener that's what I have heard from others. And that day I experienced it myself, Mikel was quite when I was speaking, he didn't stop me even for once.
Mikel was giving me space to speak my own mind, as everything I shared mattered to him as well ans that he truly cared about what I wanted to share. If someone asks me to rate the conversation then I would rate it 100/100 because it was very good. It was my first time feeling relieved after talking to someone. Well, my problems didn't disappear into thin air. But everything felt lighter than before.
I have learned what being understood feels like. It doesn’t mean someone agreeing with me constantly or trying to fix my problems. It's a different kind of thing which means someone truly seeing the real me and they are accepting my feeling not giving solutions. And I could definitely feel how a big difference was made inside me. Everything became lighter after that day, it was like more open, and more connected to life.
I believe human nature is all about connection. Always seeking for someones attention and tryimg to reach others in some way. So the solution for this is understanding. Like if this kind of connection becomes real then trust me it's gonna stay with you forever, it doesn’t matter if it lasts for a short time. And then I realized this is the feeling that I needed for a long time.
The images are created with Gemini and edited with Canva