Hi Hive Students, it's Abeegail again, the undergrad. Welcome to my blog. Something we don't get to talk enough about is that the first year in uni is the hardest. Everything is confusing and new, it takes a lot for students not to lose their way in the first year. We heard about student dropping out just after the first year because the pressure got the better of them. One thing that helps is having people to put you through, people you can go through it together, to make you feel like you are not alone.
Why didn't anyone tell me that in uni you can feel so lonely, even around so many people. You would think that seeing so many people you would be able to make friends easily but for someone who is shy and quiet, someone like me, it's hard to find your people quickly. I started class recently and I can see people already having cliques, gist partners, and all I can think is that Abeegail really sucks at making friends.
There this pressure of transforming into a more better and confident version of yourself when you are in uni is so real, that it makes you feel so displaced. The pressure to be more social, more confident, more outgoing is thick. It's kind of sad being the girl that is always all by herself but one thing I'm getting to understand is that friendship in uni is based on proximity, not deep level conservations at first.They come from seeing the same person again and again.Sitting besides the same person in class. Showing up to the same events, even quietly.
As a shy and quiet person, I try to tell myself that it's okay it play it cool at first, you don't have to expose your whole personality on the first day. I try to let people know me in bits, even if i just say one honest thing or laugh when something is funny or just talk to one person. Being shy doesn't mean you have to be invisible. Social media has pushed the narrative that college friendship has to be big groups, constant outings, endless photos and gist that never ends. But it's okay if you have one or two people who you can sit with or talk to without fear or filter.
I understand that the first year is just all of us finding ourselves, and so, people who are our friends will change and true friendship may not be from your first year, because you might outgrow people. But even so, it's quite sad that you'll feel lonely even in the midst of people.
It's Still Abeegail,
The Undergrad✨💗
Thank you for reading.
All images used are mine