Welcome to the chapter of those secrets we never share, sometimes it's not because they are not sharable but because we haven't gathered the balls to say it out yet or because we feel like we would be judged by people so today we would be working with that code "we listen we don't judge", yeah yeah just lend me your listening ears as I take you on a radar.
I can't place my thoughts on what age I was when this particular thing happened but I was definitely small, naive, clueless with little or no experience at all, those days my parents would leave us at home they would either take my elder sister to the shop with them and probably leave me and my brothers at home, after which they would all go out and play football leaving me in the house, so because I still have chores to be done or probably am watching over the house I wouldn't go anywhere, I would just stay put at home attending to what needs to be attended to.
And so my parents also usually sents Mairuwa which you might know as those people fetching water and supplying to people at home, so because I am the one usually left at home I would always be the one to open the gate for him to fill our drums with water, and it happens that the man in question that supplies water for us was actually an old man, he saw the freewill opportunity and he took it.
He would come into the house and open up his nakedness for me to see, drag me to touch his private part and later on touch my body parts, I wasn't comfortable with what he was doing because I noticed that when he sees another person in the house he would sneakily call me to a hidden part of the compound but I usually take those opportunities to run, after doing those rubbish he does he would remove chicken changes and give me to go buy biscuit, when ever I reject the money he drops it on the floor and leave the house with his empty truck.
I never told anyone and I don't know why I didn't actually plus as I grew up i just locked up that experience because I felt it was too awkward, embarrassing to talk about, funny enough even my best friend which is my mom never heard of it but now looking back at it I feel like beating myself up for keeping quiet, for not shouting at the top of my voice to the man anytime he shows of his nakedness, for allowing that linger until I had to beg my brothers to stay at home with me anytime the man came to deliver water.
I never completely forgave myself for that but what I usually thank God is that the man's heartlessness didn't result to him sleeping with me, I kind of felt unworthy but as time went on I let go, forgave the man and became a preacher against keeping your female children with any male gender all in the name of uncle or family friend, there's indeed those secrets we never feel safe sharing but I pray we have the heart to share it so that others can learn from it.
Happy sharing this space with you.
All images used here belongs to me.