Cat's POV
My name is Luna. Yes... Luna the magnificent and elegant, the one the humans keep calling good kitty, when really they mean "stop knocking over the plant again". But I just watch them and judge.
Let me tell you, if there is anyone who really deserves my judgement, it's Tola and Jide.
I live with these two humans called Tola and Jide. They are not bad people. But anyone would think for creatures with the biggest brains on the planet, they would make or have more sense. But everyday, they find new ways to surprise me.
This morning for example, I was having my moment of peace by sitting by the window and judging the pigeons in the neighbourhood, when Tola started shouting.
"Jide, the cat pushed my makeup. Again"
Excuse me? The cat? Like I don't have a name. I am Luna, thank you very much. Also, I did not push it. Her makeup was in my way and I wanted to jump onto the table, gravity did the rest. But they never understand. Humans take everything personally.
Tola rushed into the room I was, looking dramatic as always. I watched her pick up her precious powders and brushes, while saying something about how I always do this. Tola looked at me and let out a sigh.
"It's like you do these things intentionally"
Well... she is not wrong. But before I could defend my honour, Jide entered, holding a broom like he was about to fight a ghost. "What happened this time?"
"It's your cat" said Tola.
I hate when she calls me that. Your cat. As if I am a burden Jide brought to the house. I was, at least, managing before they adopted me. I was eating sardines at the back of the neighbour's shop.
Jide shrugged his shoulders "Maybe she is bored"
Bored? No. Just disappointed, mostly in them.
See what they do for "fun"... Last week, I watched Jide and Tola dance in front of a mirror for half an hour as they recorded themselves. I simply sat there, observing with my eyes open. Jide tripped and Tola screamed, not because she was worried but because he "ruined the take". They did it repeatedly. By the time they finally did it the way Tola wanted, I had already aged nine lives.
Later, they had a disagreement about what they were going to eat. Jide suggested cooking and Tola suggested ordering food. They ordered food and still cooked noodles afterwards. Then Tola started complaining that she was too full. I just sat on the chair, licking my paws while trying to figure out if humans actually know what they want in life.
Yesterday when Tola was trying to meditate. She sat cross-legged, breathing dramatically while whispering, "I am calm. I am calm." I just kept staring at her. Tola looked anything but certainly not calm. Minutes later, she got distracted by a notification and that was the end of inner peace. Tola is always trying to find balance, but she keep tripping over her own drama.
Or the time Jide and Tola was in the living room trying to put together something they bought online. The one with like twenty tiny screws, some rubber bands and instructions that might has well be written in another language. I rolled my eyes. Yes, cats can roll their eyes, try me.
But I enjoyed watching their incompetence. Jide leaned backward on a chair that clearly wasn't strong enough to hold him. Tola screamed and I yawned. Maybe I could have tried to help them, maybe jump on the floor and steady the chair with my paw, but where was the fun in that?
I strolled towards where they fell, as dignified as ever. Jide and Tola were on the floor, staring at me as if I should offer comfort. Comfort, from me? I sat elegantly on the edge of the couch.
They deserved it.
And don't even get me started on their obsession with taking pictures of me. Everytime I lie down, Tola appears with her camera, "Awwn, she is so cute. Look at her" Then flash, flash, flash, like I'm some celebrity on the red carpet. But I do not look at the camera when Tola wants me to. I rather ruin her photos. Revenge.
Anyway, I think Jide is calling me. Probably wants to pet me again because I'm so soft. I'll let him, not that I care about it or something, maybe a little, but mainly because it makes him happy. My humans will forever be a source of interest to me due to their incredible clumsiness and dramatics and their utter lack of logic in almost everything. And I, Luna, will continue to be there to judge.
I still think they're weird, though.
This week's Hivestudentconnect prompt asks, "what animal would judge us the most?" I thought it would be fun to answer it from a fictional lens, from the perspective of a cat, because really, who would be better at judging us than those felines?
Thanks for reading...
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