Five Years Back: The Signs I Ignored.

Talking about if I could go back in time, five years back..well I would love too, but not to become a better person, but to become a more concerned, serious person who pays attention to things.

I'm saying this regarding something I've had to experience some years back, because before it all started, I knew. But I wasn't paying attention. I kept working, doing very stressful works, I kept breaking down and standing back up after few treatments and such. I was seeing the small signs, but I didn't take it seriously. I kept telling myself I'm a man, and I should man up, I can't be sitting down doing nothing because I know will feel pain at the end of the day. So, I kept going thinking it would pass with time.

Not until it came with full force and nothing could stop me from experiencing all that I later had to. Just few days before it all started I felt something, it I convinced myself that I just needed rest and slept off, before sleeping off I remember I told someone and the person responds that it's nothing, like I should just use the normal pills I do use and sleep it off. So, I just did that and told myself nothing is wrong.

If I could go back, I would go back to that exact month, week, day or time. I would sit up that day and refuse to ignore it. Because I remember vividly that what came after that day wasn't funny at all. It led me to get bedridden for a very long time and my body had to experience series of surgeries. And I had to watch my family spend their all and did their best just so to keep me.

So, if I go back, I won't try to avoid what life wants to bring my way, but I would definitely just act sooner before it gets too rough. I would speak up and refuse to ignore any little thing. I will rest more and desist from anything I feel is having its toll on me.

And I would like to add this, being strong doesn't mean we should push through everything, being a man doesn't mean we should do it all or act all strong to do things, w should no when to pause, when to rest, when to stop and when to say no.

I don't have the chance to do that now, but if it were possible, I will really go back in time to do that before it gets out of hand the way it later did.

Maybe if that happens, my life would be a bit better and softer now.

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Images are mine.

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