Well, this might look strange to you too 😁. But it's one assumption a lot of people have about me, most especially, those we've seen face to face. They just judge and come to conclusion based on what they see on the surface. And that assumption his, "he's gay."
Sincerely, understand that this is in every way about me, some will even say it to my face and I can't help but wonder why, is it because of the way I talk, or because I love watching Korean movies, or the fact that I use lip gloss, or maybe because I do have on certain female slippers at times. That's just me , I love it because it's simple and comfy, I like those colors, am just being me. People just draw conclusions about me as if... they won't ask questions, they won't pause to have a rethink, they just assume. And that's it for them.
There was a day a friend of mine came visiting, I was still in school then. Immediately he entered my room and sat down, he looked around and guess what his question was, "guy, are you staying with you girlfriend?" I was like, "No, why did you ask" he asked again, "was a lady staying in this room before you packed in?" By then, I already understand where he was going to. He was asking all of that because my room was painted pink and purple and that was the color of my curtains too, and the fact that I have this beautiful butterfly light emitting stickers on my wall. It does look girlish.
I just laughed, he looked at me and shake his head. And I was like, "guy, ahah." He didn't talk, but I knew a lot was going through his mind already.
And that's how it is with most people, they just judge you based on what they are not sure if, they see your mannerisms/preferences and they just conclude within themselves to know who exactly you are. People goes beyond that which we just see on the surface. We should all know that. I for one ain't shy about it, I do feel bad sometimes when I get a simple slippers and wear it to class and my friends looks at me like, "is this not female slippers.."
Their assumption was that I'm gay, and that's not right. And if you ask me if it hurt me, yes, it did. They were calling me what I'm not. I didn't create myself to be this way. I even tried working on it, but I couldn't really control certain acts/behaviors of mine.
What I've come to realize with time is that, peoples assumptions says a lot about them than about you.
Now, when anyone tells me I act girlish, I just smile. When they ask why I use lip gloss, I just laugh, when they ask me why I watch Korean movies, I just smile. I don't know, I like soft and simple life, that's me, or is such a life only meant for ladies. Can't a guy be soft, can't a guy be emotional, can't a guy have cool, soft voice, must it be thick. It's not as if I don't have manly traits or characters, why are they always about the girlish part.
In short, I've stopped explaining myself to people. If you feel comfortable around me, fine, and if you don't, please use the door. I can't shrink myself into their thoughts of what a man should sound like, what a man should watch, what aman should enjoy and all.
Another thing I've learned is that, it is possible to outgrow people's assumptions of you without you outgrowing yourself. Allow them assume and talk, but keep on being who you really are. And ever since I've learnt those, life has become much more simple and better. I don't pretend and I don't fear what you might think of me. I'm just me being me.
All pictures are mine.
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