I believe we've all one time or the other experienced peer pressure, and the very first one that almost got me while I was in school was in my second year. It happened to be a Friday night, we were to start our exam the following Monday. I was in one of my friends room, we were just gisting when Tunji burst in. "Omo, there's one big party tonight o, and guess what I already paid for our table, it's free for the other gender, so no worries, girls go plenty there, drinks sef dey." Everyone stood up, each rushing to their various rooms to find a good outfit to wear.
I was the only one still on seat, I looked into Tunji's face and wanted to tell him "no," but my mouth didn't give in. I didn't want to sound boring, serious or somehow. And for a moment I thought about finding something suitable to wear and follow them, but then my mum words wouldn't stop ringing in my head, "never forget why you're in school."
I tell you what, it was that night I developed something that helped me and is still helping, I don't know if to call it a rule, but I named it 3R's.
Yeah, there's this 3R's that's been helping me navigate through peer pressures and all.
Remember.
Refuse.
Replace.
Now, let's pick it one after the other....
Remember:
What do I do, I remind myself of where I was coming from, of why I am where I am and of where I was going. I would remind myself how uneasy it was to sort mys school fees, how I have younger ones looking up to me and how big my dreams and aspirations are that I can't just afford to make any careless choice all in the name of fun or whatever. When I remind myself of that, to say "no," is always easy for me.
Refuse:
I have learned to not start explaining myself and saying stories, not at all, just a firm "no," or "I'm not interested." The truth is, people will stop disturbing you when they see how sure you are of yourself, they would stop pestering you when they know and see the things you stand for. Saying "no" doesn't mean you're proud, It just means you know your priorities.
Replace:
Instead of partying and all, I watch movies, I read, or even gist with friends, those that know me and understand my vibe. It's possible to say no and be against certain things without losing friends. All you need is to find those who really understands you and respects your choices.
But then, there's the quite but hard pressure that lurks behind everyone, and it's the need to belong. When everyone around you is doing fine, using big and costly phones/gadgets, wearing designer clothes and watches, staying in big and comfortable apartment and posting things that makes you feel left out. That's just it, you will kind of feel left out, and I very well understand it, I've been there a number of times. But what do I do, I kept reminding myself that peace of mind is the most important. I can't pretend or act what I'm not. What's the essence of looking rich online whereas I'm broke and down inside.
Peer pressure is real. Very real, especially in a school setting where everybody wants to get noticed, seen, standout and fit in. One thing I've learnt is that it's better to stand alone than following a crowd who don't even know their own destination.
So, that's been my secret since, I remember where I'm headed, I refuse those things that don't align with me and I replace the noises with purpose. Because at the end of the day, everything is just for a moment, the lifestyle, the friends and all has their own time, some will go but what stays and what's important is your results, because it will speak for you, and it speaks forever.
First Image source has been included, second image is mine.
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