The art of telling a lie seems very easy. I mean how hard is it, telling something other than the truth to someone who you believe is unknowing? The rate at which people detect lies varies from person to person. A person might tell someone a certain lie, and they’ll believe it. However, another person might tell the same lie, and they’re caught almost immediately. Different things could be the reason for that, but that’s not the point of this post.
The point of that first paragraph, is that the art of telling lies to someone else is quite easy, but telling lies to yourself is one of the hardest things. That’s because at that point, your logic, having a front row seat to the situations that led to the lie, will always try to fight against that which you’re trying to set your mind to. But rather than accepting the fact that it might not work out, ignoring that truth feels easier.
Everytime I see something attainable yet unattainable for me at a particular time, I’m usually filled with longing. This feeling is okay if I choose to work towards it on step at a time, and dedicating as much time and effort that is needed. The only time there’s an issue with this longing, is brainwashing yourself to think that something that was built in two years, would be achievable for you in just two weeks.
A perfect example of this is the issue of new year resolutions. I used to always write the most unrealistic goals, telling myself I would do this and that, so before the year ended, there’d be many great achievements to show for it. I kept on gaslighting myself, and believing they were achievable, only to give up few days into the year. I was usually that student that managed to cover courses at the eleventh hour. Barely reading through everything we were taught in the session, yet I always made it to the top.
So, when I got the hang of reading way before the semester started, it seemed germane to me since my method had always worked. However, I tried it once, and my results that year were nothing short of excellent.
I then told myself I was going to continue with it. Before the start of every semester, I would remind myself how beautiful the results that particular semester were, and why I needed to read earlier before exams. Simply reminding myself wasn’t enough, cause I always ended up postponing till the eleventh hour, believing that God will perform wonders, and give me a better result than that one. It’s never worked so far, because that still remains my best results.
Change requires intentionality, and that intentionality requires preparation. You need to be prepared, mentally, physically and emotionally before finally embracing change. Prepping for change would have you utilizing every atom of anxiety, that would have ended up overwhelming you before acheiving that goal. Realism is key in this situation. Study yourself, know your limits, and work on your goals, at your own pace. Gaslighting yourself into believing you can achieve something because someone else did so is never the way out.
Thanks for reading.
Image above is mine.