With growth, comes a heightened level of consciousness, a sense of awareness. Dressing a certain way, appearing a certain way, exhibiting certain behaviors depending on your environment. All these work together, making up who we are to people, and forming opinions of people around us.
I was someone who used to judge people I had only met for few minutes. I didn’t even need to have conversations with people, before assuming that they were snubs, stupid or boring. It wasn’t easy changing that aspect of mine, but I’m glad I did. You see, we’re all different. Just because I am used to people around me acting a certain way, or having a kind of personality, doesn’t mean I should expect that same behavior from everyone. I learnt that early on and implemented it sooner.
One conversation I love to have, after getting to know people, is the ‘what did you think of me when we first met’ question? This conversation always lets me see myself from someone’s point of view. Was I cranky or did I look like a meanie? Did I make you uncomfortable or was I being so cheerful that you felt relaxed? I like having this conversation, because as insightful as it is, it’s also fun knowing what people thought about you, when sentiments weren’t attached to it.
Everytime I get to have this conversation, I’ve always gotten different answers. Although the most prominent has to be that I look like a mean person. I’ve met so many people in school, tell me they didn’t like me at first, because I looked like I wasn’t ready to tolerate any conversation whatsoever. Some even told me they felt intimidated because I always looked like I meant business everytime they saw me unsmiling. And trust me, they didn’t think this in a good way.
This narrative has followed me since my secondary school days. There was a time I changed schools back then, and was still very unfamiliar with the students and the environment. I was later told by my friend, that she never thought I was a nice person at first, because it looked like I was always frowning at everything around me, which according to her interpretation, meant I didn’t like either of them, or didn’t rate any of the other students. This opinion is actually funny because I enjoy talking to new people. I love getting to meet new people and coming across new opinions and thought processes. Hearing people say this on first meeting, contradicts my actual belief.
Judging people from first glance is a very common experience. I’ve been misunderstood a lot of times, by people who I’ve never even had a proper conversation with, talk more of spending time together. My contribution to this unfair act, is erasing off whatever beliefs I’ve formed of people, in my subconscious, the moment I catch myself thinking. My narrative might be the complete opposite of what’s actually going on with said person. A simple glance or a simple moment where we walked past each other, isn’t enough to know who someone is. So, it’s best to do away with these hasty judgements.
Thanks for reading.
Images above were taken by me.