Llegó el día doloroso, leer en mi trabajo líneas en mi teléfono que decían "mamá está mal..." Me estremeció, no podía reaccionar porque tenía a cargos un niño que depende de mí, quien con solo mirarlos me da consuelo y fortaleza por lo dulce de su sonrisa. El mensaje, se paseaba por los rincones de mi cabeza; solo una compañera integradora se dio cuenta de mi rostro, me preguntó si quería hablar y le respondí "No, porque no deseo llorar", necesitaba estar fuerte para realizar la llamada y conocer la verdad.
I know that some of you have lived sensitive stories and that there are different reactions when it comes to family health; I am going through precisely that situation, I feel that my soul is in that place called limbo, on the edge of reality and denial in receiving painful news. Since I left Venezuela, I made the effort to be conscious and to bear the pain of being away from my parents, I always repeated "the decision is for the good of my daughter" and I do not regret it. My mother trusts my decisions and advised me so that the distance would not hurt my existence without the family warmth, she taught me to keep my mind busy and it really works out. However, I prepared myself for many things, among them, how to react when receiving a call from Venezuela to hear painful news about my parents.
The painful day came, reading lines on my phone at work that read "Mom is sick...". I was shaken, I could not react because I had a child in my care who depends on me, who just by looking at them gives me comfort and strength because of the sweetness of their smile. The message was going through the corners of my head; as soon as a colleague of mine noticed my face, she asked me if I wanted to talk and I answered "No, because I don't want to cry", I needed to be strong to make the call and know the truth.
Mi hermano atiende la llamada, lo que significa que Mami no está bien, porque siempre atiende el teléfono; mi hermano mayor me pone al tanto y es el momento de aportar más recursos económicos para que sea atendida a tiempo por los doctores, debido al retraso del seguro para autorizar turnos; no obstante fue examinada en la casa y recetaron los exámenes a hacer. Mis hermanos son distintos, uno es relajado y el otro nervioso, así que escuchaba a mi hermano mayor para tomar las cosas con calma, porque desde aquí en Argentina puedo es enviar dinero, rezar y que mi mejor amiga esté pendiente para ayudar.
Mis días transcurren cumpliendo con responsabilidades, pero atenta al teléfono en esperas de resultados médicos; durante la espera mi hermano menor decidió viajar donde está mi mamá, deduje el comportamiento y eso me tranquilizó, ya que, mamá, tendrá la compañía de sus hijos. Nunca uso internet para investigar los síntomas que mis hermanos me relatan y menos sin un examen sale alterado; mi madre me enseñó a esperar para que la desesperación no tome posición en mi vida, por tanto, me hizo bien y por otra, callé tanto que los nervios oprimieron el estómago que colapsó, la gastritis apareció de tanto llorar a oscura y pedir por la salud de mi madre.
My brother answers the call, which means that Mami is not well, because he always answers the phone; my older brother brings me up to date and it is time to provide more economic resources to be attended in time by the doctors, due to the delay of the insurance to authorize shifts; however she was examined at home and they prescribed the tests to be done. My brothers are different, one is relaxed and the other nervous, so I listened to my older brother to take things calmly, because from here in Argentina I can is send money, pray and that my best friend is pending to help.
My days go by fulfilling responsibilities, but attentive to the phone waiting for medical results; during the wait my younger brother decided to travel where my mom is, I deduced the behavior and that reassured me, since, mom, will have the company of her children. I never use the internet to investigate the symptoms that my siblings tell me and even less without an altered test; my mother taught me to wait so that despair does not take position in my life, therefore, it did me good and on the other hand, I kept quiet so much that the nerves oppressed my stomach that collapsed, gastritis appeared from so much crying in the dark and asking for my mother's health.
Mi madre es atendida por el cardiólogo, ella padece de miocardio, un corazón afectado, entre otras insuficiencias en el mismo órgano que complican su salud en general. Mamá es optimista cuando habla conmigo dice que "todo está bien"; a diferencia de mis hermanos que me cuentan la realidad, es decir, el corazón de madre está bien porque no desea preocupar. Ella es examinada por otros médicos en cada consulta, ellos estudian el caso para determinar si los síntomas se debe al consumo de un medicamento y requiere sustitución o hay algo nuevo en el organismo. Los hijos esperamos un diagnóstico definitivo; lo positivo es que mami recuperó el apetito y el sueño; nosotros estamos para ella, los hijos hacen todo por el amor más dulce de una madre.
Es dulce pensar en mamá, porque aunque sigo un tanto preocupada, me animé hacer el dulce Manjar de naranja que me reconfortó a escribir esto, un pensar dulce y cítrico, la combinación perfecta de mis emociones. Feliz que estés con nosotros mamá y triste que no estoy a tu lado para superar esta etapa juntas, por tal razón, hago catarsis, preparando el Manjar de naranja que me cae de maravilla en mi panza, me lleva a recordar la merienda que me preparaba mamá cuando joven; un dulce de textura suave como sus manos, aroma de amor, tibio al servir como los besos cálidos de mi madre, firme cuando es necesario y el sabor que saca sonrisa de una madre a un hijo.
Con esta experiencia confirmo la idea "No estoy preparada para recibir una noticia dolorosa y nadie lo está", tenemos que pasar por el trago amargo que congela el corazón y el llanto calienta el cuerpo hasta acercarse al desahogo. El pensamiento deambula al comprender y no aceptar que la salud de tus padres se debilita. Hay un recurso para sobrellevar, es vivir a plenitud con ellos, agradecer y recordar las experiencias para continuar viviendo, mi alternativa para hacer catarsis, por ejemplo, preparar este rico dulce de Manjar que me acerca a mi madre querida.
My mother is seen by the cardiologist, she suffers from myocardial, an affected heart, among other insufficiencies in the same organ that complicate her overall health. Mom is optimistic when she talks to me, she says that "everything is fine"; unlike my siblings who tell me the reality, that is, mother's heart is fine because she does not want to worry. She is examined by other doctors at each consultation, they study the case to determine if the symptoms are due to the consumption of a medication and require substitution or if there is something new in the organism. The children are waiting for a definitive diagnosis; the positive thing is that mommy recovered her appetite and sleep; we are there for her, the children do everything for the sweetest love of a mother.
It is sweet to think about mom, because even though I am still a little worried, I was encouraged to make the sweet Orange delicacy that comforted me to write this, a sweet and citric thought, the perfect combination of my emotions. Happy that you are with us mom and sad that I am not by your side to overcome this stage together, for this reason, I make catharsis, preparing the Orange delicacy that falls wonderfully in my belly, it takes me to remember the snack that manna prepared me when I was young; a sweet soft texture like her hands, aroma of love, warm when serving as the warm kisses of my mother, firm when necessary and the flavor that brings a smile from a mother to a child.
With this experience I confirm the idea "I am not prepared to receive painful news and no one is", we have to go through the bitter pill that freezes the heart and crying warms the body until it comes close to venting. The thought wanders to understand and not accept that the health of your parents weakens. There is a resource to cope, is to live fully with them, thank and remember the experiences to continue living, my alternative to make catharsis, for example, prepare this rich Manjar candy that brings me closer to my beloved mother.
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