Cuando nos llenamos de frustración, tristeza, ira y decepciones es cuando caemos en un hueco profundo y empezamos a volvernos creativos sin importar si es para hacernos daño.

Es allí cuando afloran conductas autodestructivas y cuando visualizamos futuros con nuestra ausencia en ellos.

Esta vez quisiera hacer catarsis y mostrar lo que mi mente en uno de estos juegos imaginativos en los que la desesperanza se apodero de mi, me llevo en un viaje donde me pude ver tomando una medida extrema, y es cuando piensas ¿Que harías? ¿Como lo harías?

Muchos han tenido la valentía o quizás la cobardía de tomar estas medidas extremas y han dejado sus familias sin mirar atrás, yo debo aclarar que una cosa es imaginar y otra realizar y definitivamente no seria capaz de hacerle eso a mis seres amados, así el hueco donde me encuentre sea muy profundo.

Les dejo a ustedes el escrito que seria mi despedida si mis acciones me llevaran a tomar una de las tantas medidas que muchos toman al no saber encarar las situaciones de la vida.

Hello Hive friends, sometimes in the midst of so many adverse and even painful circumstances, people tend to take extreme measures, to imagine crazy plans and to make decisions that go out of any behavior towards well-being.

When we are filled with frustration, sadness, anger and disappointments is when we fall into a deep hole and start to become creative regardless of whether it is to hurt ourselves.

That is when self-destructive behaviors surface and when we visualize futures with our absence in them.

This time I would like to make catharsis and show what my mind in one of these imaginative games in which hopelessness took over me, took me on a journey where I could see myself taking an extreme measure, and that is when you think: What would you do? How would you do it?

Many have had the courage or perhaps the cowardice to take these extreme measures and have left their families without looking back, I must clarify that one thing is to imagine and another to realize and definitely would not be able to do that to my loved ones, even if the hole where I find myself is very deep.

I leave you the writing that would be my farewell if my actions would lead me to take one of the many measures that many take when they do not know how to face life's situations.

Siento que no valgo nada, ustedes no saben que desde hace tiempo quede sin empleo, la cuarentena me dejo sin dinero, eso al hombre le afecta tanto el ego que y el autoestima que no se como mi esposa aun me acompaña porque ni yo mismo ya me acepto.

Hoy decido despedirme de ustedes y de mi esposa e hijo, que aunque me duele que no lo veré crecer, se que en su vida no tengo nada que darle y estará mejor sin ver lo que como hombre me he convertido.

Es miércoles y estoy en casa consternado, sumergido en las decisiones que he tomado en mi silencio, volví a caer en esa oscuridad de la que ya pensé que estaba saliendo. Me hicieron caer tan profundo que no veo nada mas que me mantenga de pie.

Me iré despidiendo de todo, ya se acerca el día para que este solo en casa y ejecutar lo que me he propuesto.

Empiezo mi despedida por mi Madre, discúlpame si te he dado la espalda, ya no soy el hijo que criaste. Te amo no sufras por este imprevisto evento. Ten en cuenta que ahora podre estar con mis ancestros y que me aguarda mi padre muerto. Tranquila siempre estaré hay. Te amo y lo siento.

Mi hermano eres un ser maravilloso, eres capaz de todo. Te felicito, te amo y se que te dolerá esto, tenia que hacer algo pero estaba sufriendo mucho, perdóname.

Mi único hijo lastima que a partir de este día no estarás mas conmigo. Eres mi retrato hermoso y mejorado. Eres ese hombresito que vi nacer, al que espere con amor pero al que no le puedo dejar nada bueno. Me despido de ti sin darte un beso y un abrazo de amor. No te veré crecer pero te acompañare desde el cielo.

Espero te hagas un hombre mejor que yo y que cumplas todos tus sueños, estudia y quiere a tu mama mucho. Adiós hijo perdóname por no darte el padre que mereces, no tienes culpa de esto. Siempre tendrás mi bendición, donde quiera que me encuentre, espero algún día comprendas que perdí la batalla en la lucha por seguir, que tire mis armas y que solo yo decidí no volver a casa, perdóname por esta soledad que dejare desde niño en tu corazón. Te amo muchísimo

A mi esposa hermosa y bella, dure tres días pensando como escribirte esta carta para despedirme de ti, por mas que lo he intentado y que tu bastante me haz ayudado, pues no encuentro amor como salir de esto, trato de disimularlo pero ni con besos, ni miradas, ni con abrazos he podido dejar de sufrir en silencio.

Perdóname si no fui el hombre que esperabas, desde hace ya bastante tiempo. Perdóname si te di la espalda en nuestro hogar perdóname si no te di el amor que merecías o no fui ese esposo con el que te casate esa noche en esa iglesia, donde nos juramos amor eterno.

Me disculpo por no hablar antes contigo, he tomado una decisión muy fuerte para mi, para ti y nuestro hijo. he tomado la decisión de hacer esto hoy ya viernes, aprovechare mi soledad en casa, no me gustaría que nuestro hijo me viera en el patio, colgado de la mata de Guayaba, donde bajo su sombra muchas lagrimas he dejado caer.
Perdóname mi esposa amada,se te fue tu perro fiel. He cogido esta soga y esta silla para colgarme, perdóname que haga esto.

Ya es sábado, te extrañaras que no fui a verte, mientras visitabas unos días a tu mama. Hoy a lo mejor te llamaran para darte esta noticia, trata de tener calma y serenidad. Se que es duro pero se que lo superaras, confío en ti.Quiero que sepas que estaré siempre a tu lado aunque no pude cumplirte esta promesa en vida.

Se que mi hijo esta pequeño, pero a los años entenderá esta carta donde dejo mis ultimas palabras a todos los que quiero...

Hello family, today I am writing an unexpected and surprising destiny for you because you are used to see me calm but it is because I learned to use masks not to show you what I live.

I feel that I am worthless, you do not know that I have been unemployed for some time, the quarantine left me without money, that affects the ego and self-esteem of men so much that I do not know how my wife still accompanies me because I do not even accept myself anymore.

Today I decide to say goodbye to you and my wife and son, although it hurts me that I will not see him grow up, I know that in his life I have nothing to give him and he will be better off without seeing what I have become as a man.

Is Wednesday and I am home in dismay, immersed in the decisions I have made in my silence, I fell back into that darkness that I thought I was coming out of. They made me fall so deep that I can't see anything else to keep me standing.

I will say goodbye to everything, the day is approaching for me to be alone at home and execute what I have set out to do.

I begin my farewell for my Mother, forgive me if I have turned my back on you, I am no longer the son you raised. I love you do not suffer for this unforeseen event. Keep in mind that now I can be with my ancestors and that my dead father awaits me. Don't worry I will always be there. I love you and I am sorry.

My brother you are a wonderful being, you are capable of everything. I congratulate you, I love you and I know this will hurt you, I had to do something but I was suffering a lot, forgive me.

My only son, it is a pity that from this day on you will no longer be with me. You are my beautiful and improved portrait. You are that little man I saw being born, whom I waited for with love but to whom I cannot leave anything good. I say goodbye to you without giving you a kiss and a hug of love. I will not see you grow but I will accompany you from heaven.

I hope you become a better man than me and that you fulfill all your dreams, study and love your mother very much. Goodbye son forgive me for not giving you the father you deserve, you are not to blame for this. You will always have my blessing, wherever I am, I hope someday you will understand that I lost the battle in the fight to continue, that I threw away my weapons and that only I decided not to return home, forgive me for this loneliness that I will leave in your heart since I was a child. I love you very much

To my beautiful and beautiful wife, I spent three days thinking about how to write this letter to say goodbye to you, no matter how hard I have tried and how much you have helped me, I can't find love to get out of this, I try to hide it but neither with kisses, nor looks, nor with hugs I have been able to stop suffering in silence.

Forgive me if I wasn't the man you were expecting, for a long time now. Forgive me if I turned my back on you in our home, forgive me if I didn't give you the love you deserved or if I wasn't the husband you married that night in that church, where we swore eternal love.

I apologize for not talking to you before, I have made a very strong decision for me, for you and our son. I have made the decision to do this today already Friday, I will take advantage of my solitude at home, I would not like our son to see me in the yard, hanging from the Guava tree, where under its shade many tears I have let fall.
Forgive me my beloved wife, your faithful dog is gone. I have taken this rope and this chair to hang myself, forgive me for doing this.

It's already Saturday, you will miss that I didn't come to see you, while you were visiting your mother for a few days. Today maybe they will call you to give you this news, try to be calm and serene. I know it is hard but I know you will get over it, I trust you, I want you to know that I will always be by your side even though I could not keep this promise in life.

I know my son is small, but in the years to come he will understand this letter where I leave my last words to all those I love....

Espero que te haya gustado este post.

To all those people who at some point have gone through these hard thoughts, where they have thought that an extreme measure is the answer to what is happening to them.

I hope you liked this post

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The translator used is Deepl.com