Dentro de la crianza machista del venezolano, es común escuchar la frase Los Hombres No Lloran; y como todo niño, desde muchachito me toco escuchar a mi padre decirlo una y otra vez cuando mis ojos se llenaban de lágrimas, las cuales tenía que tragarme.

Así crecí siendo un hombre que poco expresa sus sentimientos y poco llora, pero esta situación de crisis que vivimos en nuestro país, debo confesarles que me ha derrumbado, aunado a todo lo que nos ha tocado vivir con el Covid-19.

He estado frustrado y encerrado en casa por cuidar a mi familia para que tenga una buena salud al igual que yo en esta pandemia. Preferí encerrarme porque trabajaba como taxista, con muchos clientes en un día y mi esposa es persona de alto riesgo además de que tenemos un niño pequeño.

Pero eso aunque suena fácil para nada lo es, ya que nos ha tocado buscar de diversas maneras salir adelante, y darle la espalda a muchas cosas, abstenernos de otras y todos los días simplemente buscar que hacer sin tanto riesgo.

Hello everyone friends of hive, I have been absent for unforeseen reasons, however I want to take advantage of this space offered by the Catarsis Community to unburden ourselves and release so many things that burden us, in a Venezuela that is no shadow of what it was years ago.

Within the macho upbringing of Venezuelans, it is common to hear the phrase Men Don't Cry; and like every child, since I was a little boy, I had to listen to my father say it over and over again when my eyes filled with tears, which I had to swallow.

So I grew up being a man who expresses his feelings very little and cries very little, but this situation of crisis that we live in our country, I must confess that it has brought me down, together with everything that we have had to live with the Covid-19.

I have been frustrated and locked up at home to take care of my family so that they have good health just like me in this pandemic. I preferred to lock myself in because I was working as a cab driver, with many clients in a day and my wife is a high risk person and we have a small child.

But although it sounds easy, it is not easy at all, since we have had to look for different ways to get ahead, and turn our backs on many things, abstain from others and every day simply look for what to do without so much risk.

Este encierro lo he tratado de amar y querer porque me ha enseñado que la calle no lo es todo, pero seguir en pie como me decía mi padre, sin llorar se ha puesto cuesta arriba.

En este tiempo me he enfermado y mi esposa me ha ayudado en todo, hasta con mi frustración y el saber lidiar con este encierro.

El estrés realmente causa negativos efectos, en mi se manifestó con una Psoriasis Versicolor, también resulta que a pesar de tanto cuidarme me dio Covid-19 aun cuando solo salgo a comprar la comida de la familia, casi me da una obstrucción intestinal y hasta una flebitis. En pocas palabras lo que antes no enferme pues ahora se ha desatado.

Es frustrante y da muchas ganas de llorar saber que era un hombre al que le gusta trabajar en la calle desde muy temprano hasta muy tarde, es tanto así que hasta mi medio de trabajo esta enfermo mi carro y he durado meses si producir un centavo.

In this pandemic I locked myself in my window with a sad face because I was a man who was a fighter, a man who was always on the move.

I have tried to love and cherish this confinement because it has taught me that the street is not everything, but to continue standing, as my father used to tell me, without crying, has become an uphill struggle.

During this time I have been sick and my wife has helped me in everything, even with my frustration and knowing how to deal with this confinement.

Stress really causes negative effects, in me it manifested itself with Psoriasis Versicolor, it also turns out that in spite of taking care of myself so much I got
Covid-19 even when I only go out to buy food for the family, I almost got an intestinal obstruction and even phlebitis. In short, what I didn't get sick before has now broken out.

It is frustrating and makes you want to cry to know that I was a man who likes to work in the street from very early in the morning until very late in the evening, so much so that even my means of work is sick my car and I have lasted months without producing a penny.

Con una enfermedad de piel como la psoriasis versícolor hay muchas personas que no saben y qué piensan que es contagioso, por lo que me he adaptado poco a esto de la piel.

Today I feel strong to see my 5 year old son who is the best thing I have and my wife who makes me laugh every day with her graces, even though my heart is full of sadness.

With a skin disease like psoriasis versicolor there are many people who do not know and think that it is contagious, so I have adapted little to this skin disease.

Cuando mi piel morena clara se puso un día negra como un carbón, sin saber con que me intoxique, llame a una tía que es enfermera me dice hijo ni vengas al hospital porque es mas peligroso que estar en casa.

Entonces ¿que le toca al venezolano cuando se enferma? sin dinero, sin trabajo y ademas sin poder ir a un hospital sin el riesgo de salir mas enfermo de lo que se esta.

At the beginning it looked like a coal from my feet to my face and that a doctor tells you that it is not cured, you only take medicines to calm the skin disease, to live a quiet life without stress, to wear a sweater and not to wear the sun, were the solutions that were presented to me.

When my light brown skin turned black as a coal one day, without knowing what I was intoxicated with, I called an aunt who is a nurse and she told me son, don't even come to the hospital because it is more dangerous than being at home.

So what happens to the Venezuelan when he gets sick? no money, no job and also no way to go to a hospital without the risk of getting sicker than you are.

Ahora me toca andar vestido con camisa manga larga ya no soy esa persona que salía a trabajar. Hay personas que no saben lo que es andar enfermo, con todo esta frustración que he tenido estos meses.

Me he escondido en una ventana y me he sentado horas y horas en mi computadora jugando un juego que no es productivo. Ha sido duro ver a mi esposa produciendo pero hoy me dije tengo que producir, tengo que levantarme, luchar y tratar de salir de esto, sentirme productivo y poder volver a decirle a mi hijo y a mi esposa salí a la calle y te traje algo.

Over time my skin has improved, but I can't wear flannels and I have to take care of myself from the sun. I have lasted months like this, fortunately my skin is already improving in color, returning to the light brown tone but it is still missing. Even the people who come to see me are surprised and turn away.

Now I have to wear a long sleeve shirt and I am no longer that person who used to go out to work. There are people who don't know what it's like to be sick, with all the frustration I've had these past months.

I have been hiding in a window and sitting for hours and hours at my computer playing a game that is not productive. It has been hard to see my wife producing but today I told myself I have to produce, I have to get up, fight and try to get out of this, feel productive and be able to tell my son and my wife I went out to the street and I brought you something.

Mi esposa día tras día me ha ayudado a levantarme y me ha estimulado a volver a escribir, que ella me ayuda, que así me sentiré productivo, que saldré y saldremos de muchas cosas.

Hoy agradezco tener mi familia, a mi esposa y mi hijo que han llorado conmigo y que me han apoyado con todo su amor.
Así que Comunidad de Hive, aquí estoy de nuevo.

I know I have always fallen down and got up on my own but this time I couldn't, and although men don't cry, I have done it many times in this time.

My wife day after day has helped me to get up and has encouraged me to get back to writing, that she helps me, that this way I will feel productive, that I will get out and we will get out of many things.

Today I am thankful to have my family, my wife and my son who have cried with me and who have supported me with all their love.
So Hive Community, here I am again.