(Span-Eng) El TDAH Comparte La Cama Conmigo// ADHD Share The Bed With Me
Mi esposo con TDAH y yo
, la cual les invito a leerla en este link: https://peakd.com/hive-110372/@felipefabar/es-en-pt-ayer-fue
Nuestra Boda
Mi esposo y yo tenemos 9 años juntos y en ese tiempo tuve que aprender a manejar las distintas situaciones en las que el TDAH me colocaba: unas veces era una desorganización en todos los aspectos, lo cual me hacía sentir frustrada y en caos porque no podía vivir recogiendo todo detrás de mi esposo y no entendía porque él era así; en otras oportunidades le correspondía comprar algo y llegaba con lo que a él le parecía, muy distinto a lo acordado.
No era sencillo estar acordando asuntos del hogar y a los días volver a conversar lo mismo porque era como si todo se le hubiese borrado de la memoria. He visto a mi esposo, caer en crisis por lo que cualquiera de nosotros considera sencillo y frustrarse, molestarse e incluso entristecer.
Los primeros años de matrimonio fueron difíciles como a cualquier pareja le puede ocurrir pero no puedo negar que el TDAH contribuyo a que la convivencia fuese bastante tensa. Lo que nos mantuvo unidos fue mi alto nivel de tolerancia y comprensión, el hecho de que mi esposo intenta cada día gestionar sus emociones y conductas impulsivas y lo más importante aún el nacimiento de nuestro hijo, ya que ahora somos padres y ejemplos para alguien más.
Mi esposo y nuestro hijo
Cierto día en búsqueda de mejorar nuestra convivencia, me puse a investigar la causa de nuestra hostil convivencia y es cuando se abre un panorama de recomendaciones y estrategias que me permitieron formar la relación que ahora tenemos. Analice a mi esposo, estableciendo las fortalezas y debilidades de ambos, junto a nuestras personalidades y como uno apoya al otro.
Descubrí que tenía que adoptar una actitud enfocada a la resolución y que yo soy más ejecutiva pero él es la parte operativa de esta relación. Aprendí a conocerlo y a mí en ese proceso.
Me enfoque en apoyar sus debilidades y como soy más organizada le ayudo, estableciendo rutinas, organizando ideas y proyecto que tiene, haciendo listas de compras (para que no me llegue con otros productos jajaja) y comunicándonos mucho. La comunicación es muy importante.
Aprendimos juntos el autocontrol, en su caso por su condición y en el mío para poder sobrellevar sus comportamientos alterados y apoyarle en llegar al equilibrio emocional. Su impulsividad que le lleva a correr riesgos sin pensar, me enseño a no pensar tanto las cosas y actuar. Su gran energía ha sido el motor que muchas veces me mantiene en movimiento.
En fin el TDAH duerme a mi lado, me abraza, me acompaña. Me ha desafiado muchas veces y me enseña que amar no es solo de palabra. Cuando decides compartir tu vida con alguien más hay que estar preparados a que el paquete viene con ciertas características que ponen a prueba ese amor.
Hoy en día mi esposo y yo hemos madurado como seres y como pareja, constantemente estamos apoyándonos y poniendo de nuestra parte porque el TDAH no define al hombre con el cual decidí hacer mi vida, tener familia y llegar a viejita.
Mi esposo
Para todas aquellas personas que conviven con el TDAH en sus seres amados, les quiero decir que comparto sus inquietudes, sus momentos de tristeza y hasta de desesperación; les invito a respirar profundo, tomarse un momento de regulación emocional y seguir adelante llenos de amor porque la realidad es que nuestros familiares y amigos hacen el esfuerzo por controlarse y nos necesitan como apoyo. Así que adelante.
A todos mis hivelovers gracias por acompañarme, agradecida de que estén allí
English Version
My husband with ADHD and me
Hello my Hivelovers, last July 13th was the Attention Deficit Hyperactivity D2isorder (ADHD) Day, and I must confess that although it is part of my daily life, it was not in my plans to write about it, until I read the publication of
Today I want to share with you my experience not as a person with this condition but as the person who has to live with the one who is directly affected. I am the wife of an adult with ADHD and the reality is that it is not easy but it is possible with patience, tolerance, empathy, respect and love to achieve a lasting relationship.
Our Wedding
My husband and I have been together for 9 years and in that time I had to learn to handle the different situations in which ADHD put me: sometimes it was disorganization in all aspects, which made me feel frustrated and in chaos because I could not live collecting everything behind my husband and I did not understand why he was like that; at other times it was his turn to buy something and he would arrive with what he wanted, very different from what had been agreed upon.
It was not easy to be agreeing on household matters and after a few days we would talk about the same thing again because it was as if everything had been erased from his memory. I have seen my husband fall into a crisis over what any of us would consider simple and become frustrated, upset and even sad.
The first years of marriage were difficult as any couple can be, but I cannot deny that ADHD contributed to a very tense coexistence. What kept us together was my high level of tolerance and understanding, the fact that my husband tries every day to manage his emotions and impulsive behaviors and most importantly the birth of our son, as we are now parents and role models for someone else.
My husband and our son
One day in search of improving our coexistence, I started to investigate the cause of our hostile coexistence and that is when a panorama of recommendations and strategies opened up that allowed me to form the relationship we now have. I analyzed my husband, establishing the strengths and weaknesses of both of us, along with our personalities and how one supports the other.
I found that I had to adopt a resolution-focused attitude and that I am more executive but he is the operational part of this relationship. I learned to get to know him and myself in that process.
I focus on supporting his weaknesses and since I am more organized I help him, establishing routines, organizing ideas and project he has, making shopping lists (so he doesn't get to me with other products hahaha) and communicating a lot. Communication is very important.
We learned together self-control, in his case because of his condition and in mine to be able to cope with his altered behaviors and support him in reaching emotional balance. His impulsiveness, which leads him to take risks without thinking, taught me not to think so much about things and to act. His great energy has been the engine that often keeps me moving.
Finally, ADHD sleeps by my side, hugs me, accompanies me. It has challenged me many times and taught me that love is not just words. When you decide to share your life with someone else you have to be prepared that the package comes with certain characteristics that put that love to the test.
Today my husband and I have matured as beings and as a couple, we are constantly supporting each other and doing our part because ADHD does not define the man with whom I decided to make my life, have a family and grow old
My husband
For all those people who live with ADHD in their loved ones, I want to tell them that I share their concerns, their moments of sadness and even despair; I invite them to take a deep breath, take a moment of emotional regulation and move forward full of love because the reality is that our family and friends make the effort to control themselves and they need us as support. So go ahead.
To all my hivelovers thank you for joining me, thankful that you are there.
El contenido y fotografias son de mi propiedad.
Las fotografias fueron tomadas con un Tecno Spark 6 y
forman parte de mi archivo personal
El traductor empleado ha sido Deepl.com
The content and photographs are my property.
The pictures were taken with a Tecno Spark 6 and are part of my personal archive.
The translator used was Deepl.com
