Depresión Post Covid-19 // Post Covid-19 Depression
Cuando me enfermé el año pasado, Julio 2021, sin darme cuenta, caí en depresión ¿por qué? Porque sentí mucho rechazo de las personas que estaban cerca de mi, mis vecinos y los que creí amigos, cuando pensé que me iban a ayudar, lo que hicieron fue alejarse.
Ahí comenzó todo. Por mi carácter tiendo a reaccionar de mala forma y además del estrés que tenía, también me afectó y al verme que no podía hacer mucho, comencé a tratar mal a las personas, otra manera de alejarlas más.
Everyone talks about Covid as a disease that only affects the lung part of the body, but the truth is that it is such an invasive disease that it can affect your emotions and even fall into a depression that is hard for you to get out of.
When I got sick last year, July 2021, without realizing it, I fell into depression, why? Because I felt a lot of rejection from the people who were close to me, my neighbors and those I thought were friends, when I thought they were going to help me, what they did was walk away.
That's where it all started. Due to my character I tend to react in a bad way and in addition to the stress I had, it also affected me and seeing that I couldn't do much, I began to treat people badly, another way to push them further away.
Cuando estás en una cama que no puedes respirar muy bien, la tos es imparable, muchas veces ni apetito te da o solamente quieres una sopa, no hay nadie que te la haga. Tuve que tomar la decisión de salir a resolver mis cosas por mi lado. Casi no salía de casa, solo lo necesario. ¿Fue culpa mía enfermarme? No creo, es una enfermedad que a todos o casi todos nos iba a dar.
Cuando ves que medio toses y te ven con cara de que tienes que irte, eso es lo peor, no se imaginan la tristeza que tuve cada vez que veía esa cara, que no vi apoyo de quienes yo quería que me apoyaran. Ahí fui cayendo poco a poco, nadie sabía, no le dije a nadie, me sentía fatal emocionalmente.
A los días se enferma mi hermana y ese apoyo que yo estaba esperando, fue el que le dieron a ellos, en su casa había gente que le hacía el almuerzo, los atendía como si fuera una clínica, le buscaban las medicinas, todo. ¿Celos? No sé, pero ¿por qué no pasaba eso conmigo? Seguro es por temas de personalidad.
When you're in bed you can't breathe very well, the cough is unstoppable, often you don't even have an appetite or you just want a soup, there's no one to make it for you. I had to make the decision to go out and sort things out on my own. He hardly left the house, only what was necessary. Was it my fault that I got sick? I don't think so, it's a disease that all or almost all of us were going to get.
When you see that you half cough and they see you with a face that you have to leave, that's the worst, you can't imagine the sadness I had every time I saw that face, that I didn't see support from those who I wanted to support me. There I was falling little by little, nobody knew, I did not tell anyone, I felt terrible emotionally.
A few days later my sister gets sick and that support that I was waiting for was the one they gave them, in their house there were people who made her lunch, treated them as if it were a clinic, they looked for her medicines, everything. Jealousy? I don't know, but why didn't that happen to me? I'm sure it's because of personality issues.
Luego de que me sentí mejor, salí a hacer mi vida diaria, normal como venía haciendo y la nube que tenía en mi mente era tan dañina que todo se me olvidaba, regaba las plantas un día y podía pasar una semana y yo pensaba que había sido el día anterior, quedamos como con lagunas. Es una sensación bastante mala.
Hoy día puedo decir que esos días oscuros que tuve, que las ganas de no pararme de la cama, de no ver gente, de odio, no querer levantar cabeza están pasando, no puedo decir que aun no pasan porque no sé por qué pasa el tiempo y mi mal genio se intensifica. Ahorita no quiero trabajarlo, quiero más bien ser más fuerte y no sentir tanto, aunque me vean cara seria, una persona seria, por dentro tengo muchos sentimientos encontrados, creo que la parte intensa de mi personalidad se intensifica mucho más cuando quiero a alguien. Es probable que parte de mi depresión se deba a eso, que personas a quien le había agarrado cariño, me hayan dado la espalda y me causó un despecho de amistad.
Todo eso que te estoy contando, es algo que pasa por la mente de alguien que está deprimido y le echa la culpa al mundo alrededor. La depresión necesita ser tratada, busca ayuda, no dejes que tu mente te engañe.
Sé feliz.
After I felt better, I went out to do my daily life, normal as I had been doing and the cloud that I had in my mind was so harmful that I forgot everything, I watered the plants one day and a week could pass and I thought that there was been the day before, we were left with gaps. It's a pretty bad feeling.
Today I can say that those dark days I had, that the desire not to get out of bed, not to see people, hate, not wanting to raise my head are passing, I can't say that they haven't passed yet because I don't know why the time and my temper intensifies. Right now I don't want to work on it, I rather want to be stronger and not feel so much, even if they see me with a serious face, a serious person, inside I have many mixed feelings, I think that the intense part of my personality intensifies much more when I love someone. It is likely that part of my depression is due to that, that people to whom I had taken affection, have turned their backs on me and caused me a resentment of friendship.
All that I am telling you is something that goes through the mind of someone who is depressed and blames the world around them. Depression needs to be treated, seek help, don't let your mind deceive you.
Be happy.