Hola Queridos Hivers.
Luego me llevaron a la sala donde habían muchas mujeres que ya había dado a luz y otras que estaban con trabajo de parto, era todo tan confuso, todo pasaba lento, era como si mi mente se negaba a aceptar lo que pasaba. Recuerdo que estando allí, llegaron unas amigas enfermeras de mi mama a darme unas palabras de aliento, ellas para mi fueron como angeles.
En ese lugar las visitas eran prohibidas lo que me hacia sentirme sola. Estuve en el hospital dia y medio, porque lo primero que se quería lograr era ver si mi bebe ancendia a mi utero y podíamos salvar mi embarazo , pero eso no paso, . esa noche para mi fue larga, tenia miedo, me sentía sola, tenia mucha tristeza porq allí se lograban escuchar los llantos de los niños que nacian, era como ver la otra cara de moneda, yo allí perdiendo a mi bebe y otras mamis felices por el nacimiento de sus bebes, para mi eso fue duro.
Amanecio y yo solo quería estar con mi familia, recuerdo claramente que mi mama logro pasar a donde yo estaba y me dijo , hija yo estoy aquí y em apreto la mano fuerte como diciendome: No tengas miedo hija, que mama esta aqui contigo, se que la abraze y llore mucho. Mi mama solo estuvo un par de minutos y tuvo que salir porque era un favor que le habían hecho de permitir pasar a verme aunque fueran tan solo unos minutos.
En eso llego un doctor y le dijo a la enfermera que ya tenia que inducirme el parto con pitosin para que expulsara al bebe, porque era peligroso para mi y podría contraer una infección, allí sentí que todo se detuvo, que lo que mas tenia ya era un hecho, me comenzaron los dolores de parto, fueron muy fuertes, tanto asi que vomite, eran dolores desesperantes, hasta que llegó un momento que le dije a la enfermera que quiero pujar, y ella me dijo puja puja hazlo puja.
Alli en ese momento comencé a pujar y salio mi bebe, sentí un vacio, una soledad, como si me hubiesen arrancado algo de mi, y es que mi bebe ya no estaba dentro de mi , estaba afuera pero no de la forma que yo hubiese querido, al expulsarlo se lo llevaron, no pude verlo y, me llevaron super rápido a quirófano , porque tenia que hacerme curataje, se que me colocaron anestesia general y no supe mas, al despertar estaba una señora que limpiaba el quirófano y me dijo hija, soy amiga de tu mama ven que te voy a ayudar a que te coloques el blume, y luego voy a llamar a la Doctora para que te venga a ver. Asi hicimos , esa alma bondadosa me ayudo a vestirme
Luego llego la Doctora y me pregunto que si queria ver a mi bebe, yo le dije si, con lágrimas en mis ojos le decía otra vez si, allí lo vi, dentro de un bolsa con formol, mi bebe , mi amor, tan pequeño, tan amado y esperado por todos, tenia mucho cabello, a pesar de tan solo tener 5 meses de vida, era tan pequeño y lindo, que esos recuerdos jamás se me borraran de mi mente. Luego , se me movieron nuevamente a la sala donde estaba anteriormente, y le pedi a la dra que me diera el alta que me quería ir, ella me dijo debemos ver como está tu hemoglobina para darte el alta, ya te van a tomar la muestra. Allí me tomaron la muestra y cuando llegaron los resultados arrojaban que mis niveles de hemoglobina eran bajos, sin embargo a mi riesgo firme un acta donde me iba por mi propia voluntad y a mi entera responsabilidad.
Al salir de allí, estaba toda mi familia, con miradas tristes, con ojos llorosos, no fue fácil m nada en ese momento era fácil. Enseguida, nos fuimos a la casa, y era como ese nido vacio, sin nada en los brazos, mi esposo me abraza y lloraba junto a mi. Esa noche recuerdo no dormi nada, solo me tocaba mi vientre y me sentía tan vacia. Fue duro, si lo fue.
Los días posteriores fueron difíciles porque teníamos que recoger todo lo del bebe, lloramos mucho, ese dolor fue difícil de conllevar, y es que ver a un bebe en la calle me traiga tristes recuerdos de mi hijo, no fue fácil. Mi diagnostico para poder concebir era reservado, y por los momentos debía cuidarme porque mi matriz estaba muy débil. Alli en el hospital recuerdo que me dijeron que para que yo pudiera tener nuevamente un hijo tenia que hacerme un procedimiento quirurguco llamado cercaje cervical, que es cuando cosen tu cuello para poder retener al bebe y poder llegar a un termino feliz.
Hoy es la primera vez que cuento esto en publico, y hacerlo me ha hecho bien, y aunque no les puedo mentir fue como volver a revivirlo y mis lagrimas brotaron de mis ojos, agradezco a Dios por no soltarme y por no dejarme sola, a mi familia quienes nos apoyaron con todo su amor. Con esto quiero decirles amigos, que ante toda situación difícil que pases nunca pierdas la fe, crean en ustedes mismos y aunque el camino se torne oscuro , el sol saldra para ti.
Estoy sumamente agradecida con la vida y con Dios porque tengo dos maravillosos hijos que han invadido por completo mi corazon y que a pesar de los pronosticos dados por los medicos sobre mi caso en ninguno de los dos embarazos tuve que realizarme ningún procedimiento quirúrgico.
Ya para finalizar, quiero decirte amigo y amiga, que hasta en los peores momentos se aprende, porque es asi, la vida es un aprendizaje constante de cosas buenas y no tan buenas, aprendes a ser mas fuerte , a saber quien de verdad esta contigo en las malas; aprendes a ver la vida de otra manera, en fin aprender a ser AGRADECIDO
Esta foto del cielo fue tomada por mi Persona Con mi Celular Motorola Stylus y es un pequeño homenaje y Recuerdo a mi Amado Hijo Emilio La Cruz+
Hello Dear Hivers
Then they took me to the room where there were many women who had already given birth and others who were in labor, it was all so confusing, everything happened slowly, it was as if my mind refused to accept what was happening. I remember that while I was there, some of my mother's nurse friends arrived to give me some words of encouragement, they were like angels to me.
In that place visits were forbidden, which made me feel lonely. I was in the hospital for a day and a half, because the first thing they wanted to do was to see if my baby would ascend to my uterus and we could save my pregnancy, but that did not happen. That night was long for me, I was afraid, I felt alone, I was very sad because there you could hear the cries of the babies that were born, it was like seeing the other side of the coin, me there losing my baby and other moms happy for the birth of their babies, for me that was hard.
It was dawn and I just wanted to be with my family, I remember clearly that my mom managed to get to where I was and she told me, daughter I am here and she squeezed my hand tightly as if telling me: Don't be afraid daughter, mom is here with you, I know I hugged her and cried a lot. My mother was only here for a couple of minutes and had to leave because it was a favor that had been done to allow her to see me, even if it was only for a few minutes.
Then a doctor arrived and told the nurse that she had to induce labor with pitosin to expel the baby, because it was dangerous for me and I could get an infection, there I felt that everything stopped, that what I had was already a fact, I started labor pains, they were very strong, so much so that I vomited, were desperate pains, until it came a time that I told the nurse that I want to push, and she told me push push push do it push.
There at that moment I started to push and my baby came out, I felt an emptiness, a loneliness, as if they had torn something from me, and my baby was no longer inside me, was outside but not in the way I would have wanted, when I expelled him they took him away, I could not see him and, they took me super fast to the operating room , When I woke up there was a lady who was cleaning the operating room and she told me daughter, I am a friend of your mother's, come on I am going to help you put the blume on, and then I am going to call the doctor to come and see you. So we did, that kind soul helped me to get dressed.
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Then the doctor arrived and asked me if I wanted to see my baby, I said yes, with tears in my eyes I said yes again, there I saw him, in a bag with formalin, my baby, my love, so small, so loved and awaited by all, he had a lot of hair, despite being only 5 months old, he was so small and cute, those memories will never be erased from my mind. Then, they moved me back to the room where I was before, and I asked the doctor to discharge me that I wanted to go, she told me we must see how is your hemoglobin to discharge you, they are going to take the sample. There they took the sample and when they arrived the results showed that my hemoglobin levels were low, however at my own risk I signed a document where I left of my own free will and at my sole responsibility.
When we got out of there, my whole family was there, with sad looks, with teary eyes, it was not easy m nothing at that moment was easy. Immediately, we went to the house, and it was like that empty nest, with nothing in my arms, my husband hugged me and cried with me. That night I remember not sleeping at all, just touching my belly and feeling so empty. It was hard, yes it was.
The days that followed were difficult because we had to pick up everything about the baby, we cried a lot, that pain was hard to bear, and seeing a baby in the street brings back sad memories of my son, it was not easy. My diagnosis to be able to conceive was reserved, and for the moment I had to take care of myself because my womb was very weak. There in the hospital I remember that they told me that in order for me to have a child again I had to have a surgical procedure called cervical cerclage, which is when they sew your neck to be able to retain the baby and be able to reach a happy ending.
oday is the first time I tell this in public, and doing so has done me good, and although I can not lie it was like reliving it again and my tears welled up in my eyes, I thank God for not letting me go and for not leaving me alone, my family who supported us with all their love. With this I want to tell you friends, that in any difficult situation you go through, never lose faith, believe in yourselves and even if the road turns dark, the sun will come out for you.
I am extremely grateful to life and to God because I have two wonderful children who have completely invaded my heart and despite the prognosis given by the doctors about my case, in neither of the two pregnancies I had to undergo any surgical procedure.
Finally, I want to tell you friend, that even in the worst moments you learn, because that is how it is, life is a constant learning of good and not so good things, you learn to be stronger, to know who is really with you in the bad times; you learn to see life in a different way, in short, you learn to be ThANKFUL.
This photo of the sky was taken by me with my Motorola Stylus cell phone and is a small tribute and remembrance to my beloved son Emilio La Cruz.
