It came to that phase of life, when human needed some external equupment to breath. My Dad needed a nebulizer to breath easily since yesterday. The cough strike hard on his chest. It is not easy to get rid of it easily, as it require a lot of internal force and pressure to spit it out. But the old body is slowly giving up. I tried differrnt medicine cough syrup, but nothing is working. He is and will remain a symbol of enormous strength for me.
Last few days is getting very hard on me, every morning I wakes up with a slight hope of seeing him again. He is facing a lot of breathing issue as well as pain because of of some bed sore. Already he is not comfortable with his mouth, because of earlier jaws displacement, he is relying solely on his mouth to breath. His mouth remain open for most of the time.
All of this affected to his voice as well. He is unable to speak properly. Only if you hear him closely, then only you will figure it out the meaning. It is pretty hard to see him in this condition. His ever glowing skin too started to fade away. There were lot of wrinkles all over his skin. The tight shining skin started to losen up. But the man within is not ready to give up so easily.
He is still on liquid kind of diet. His diet includes milk and chapati diluted properly, then only he able to gulp. His memory is still quite sharp. Like a true mathematician he able to answer multiplication table easily. He is yet to give up his memory. He still figure out all the known faces. He smiles at them and moved the hand little bit, in a gesture to say "hi".
Who used to be so physically active is lying idle on bed, unable to move his body nor his legs. Time to time i have to move him around and sometimes make him to sit on chair for some body rest.
I feel sorry for this state of health. I cry,quietly, never let him know. I wanted to stay strong, he never wanted me to give up easily. And the day keeps going. I know he is unable to recover fully, but his presence only gives me immense strength.
love you dad
