I come from a family of 5, my father, mother, two older siblings, and I.
Growing up, we always celebrated end-of-the-year festivities together, my Father worked outside of town, he was a security officer, and he frequently got transferred to other towns for work.
One thing was certain no matter where he got posted to work, he would always come home for the end of the year festivities. The most important part of the holidays was when we could all gather around at the end of the year as a family, offer thanks to God, and be together as one.
Even when my older siblings went off to the university, they always came home no matter what prior plans they had made or how busy they got. It was the golden rule in my family, always show up, and let's celebrate the festivities as a family even if it's just for a day.
It was the family tradition and we kept it going for a long time till we all had families and moved to different towns.
My parents were both retired by this time and they kept on urging us to come home each year for the family tradition. We tried to, some years we did, other years we didn't until we stopped finally. It then became phone conference calls to talk to our parents and check up on them.
My parents badly wanted to see us, but we couldn't make the time, life interfered. We each had our spouses and kids to worry about, and coupled with chasing our careers and dealing with the harsh economy, we just didn't find the time.
It was always the promises year after year, the promises we made to our aged parents that we would come to see them with their grandkids for the holidays and festivities. Note, that they have met all their grandkids on different occasions, they just haven't had the luxury of having them and us all under the same roof at the same time for any holiday festivity.
I don't speak for myself alone when I say that we wanted that too, we yearned to make it happen, but it was not to be. Life kept interfering and pulling up stunts after the other. We kept procrastinating thinking we would find the time, but somehow, we never did.
I was out of town for a meeting with a client when I got the call. What call you would ask? Well, the call that my father was dead. It's got to be a joke right? I asked my brother who made the call. It was no joke, who. even jokes with something like that? My father, the ever-active, disciplinarian, and loving father was dead.
Somehow, I made arrangements to take my son out of school for a few days to travel down-home, he needed to pay his respects to his grandfather.
My siblings and I all converged with our spouses and children, it was so emotional. Consoling my mother was a lot, I don't even want to go into details.
After the burial, my siblings and I had a family meeting with our Mum where we all expressed our regrets for procrastinating on coming home, the holiday festivities were the only occasion where we could truly take time off work and gather.
I would have loved to see that man, my Father one more time before he died, I would have given anything to set my eyes on him one last time.
It was concluded at the family meeting that no single end-of-the-year festivity would pass by without us all converging in our family house, to spend time with each other, our mother, spouses and children no matter where we are in the world. Tragedies and unfortunate circumstances shouldn't be the only reason why we rush home. We decided then and there that henceforth instead of procrastinating, we would start procrastinating. We'll always clear our schedules in time to be home for the holiday festivities, come what may.
It's so sad that was the wake-up call we needed that nothing surpasses family. Since then, we have always gathered to celebrate the end-of-the-year holidays together as a family.
This end-of-the-year holiday won't be any different, I plan to be out of town on the 20th of December come what may with my kids, and head down to Oyo State, Ogbomoso where my family is. My siblings are coming down too with their families and we've mapped out the plans.
I will be home on the 20th, and I will stay in with my mother and my kids, resting from the travel on the 21st, we'll visit the king's palace in Ogbomoso, Oyo State, pay homage to the throne and get my children acquainted with their heritage. My older son is 7 and his sibling is 11 months at the moment, I'm not sure they would make much of the visit, but children should learn about their roots early. There's a history instructor at the palace, and he gives tours of the palace and talks about the history of the past kings, the wars they fought, and the most interesting part which I never get tired of, the story about the tortoise that lived in the palace and died at the age of 344. It had a white house specially built for it, and it lived there before it died in 2019. The story of how the king came back from war with a certain tortoise and lived in the palace for many years before its death is a fascinating one, and I can't wait for my kids to hear it. I would then give them the shocker, we used to ride on the tortoise as kids when we went to play at the palace. Alagba (elderly) was its name, it was very big, so big it could carry us one at a time on its back, to and from the palace gates. It was a very beautiful and fascinating creature.
The 22nd would be dedicated to a visit to the national museum in Ogbomoso, where there are lots of artifacts with rich, historical stories attached to them. Stories of how Ogbomoso went to war with many surrounding towns, and villages and captured them, bringing back valuable artifacts with them. The part I never get tired of hearing is the part where it is believed in a certain tale that some kings rather than surrendering to the first king of Ogbomoso, Soun Olabanjo, Ogunlola, Ogundiran after being overpowered in battle, mysteriously turned themselves to certain wood carvings. Certain wood pieces have been pointed out to be the images of the said kings. It's a fun fact like I said, I can't vouch for its credibility.
The 23rd will be dedicated to visiting the university in the town, Ladoke Akintola University of Technology, Lautech. There's a lot of history regarding how many towns fought for that particular university before it became the sole property of Ogbomoso. Story for another day.
My siblings will be around on the 24th and that's a day for tearful reunions, hugs, kisses, introduction of the latest additions to the family if any. My sister hasn't met my 11-month-old baby for instance, she was out of the country when he was born. She's only seen him on video calls and this holiday, they will be meeting for the first time.
The 25th which is Christmas Day, will be the day when we truly bond as a family and exchange gifts. We all take part in cooking, and we gather around the table to eat, talk, and discuss life in general. Whoever needs comfort will be comforted, my mother falls into that category, she always does as it's a reminder that her husband is no more. We talk about crazy coworkers, funny bosses, nosey neighbors, and lots more. The one territory we don't encroach on is our nuclear families. It's a no-go area. If you do need advice or comfort without spilling the details, you can count on us, we won't intrude and that's why we are a family.
We will probably spend the rest of the day going out of the house to a restaurant,park, garden or another fun place we haven't decided on this year. Other activities will follow in the coming days, but we haven't decided yet as it's different every year.
I'm looking forward to the holiday festivities this year, I'm looking forward to loosening up among family members, letting down my guard and being vulnerable, bonding with the people that really, truly get me. It's family after all, and I wouldn't trade it for anything else. That being said, family isn't only the people related by blood, it's the people you can count on to always lend a listening ear and an accommodating shoulder, the ones you can always count on to come running when you call, I'm just lucky I found mine in the same place.....Even though it's too soon, I have my bags packed, I would rather precrastinate than procrastinate
I hope you enjoyed reading, thank you.
ALL IMAGES NOT SOURCED ARE MINE.