Friendships are built on a foundation of trust, however, there are times when loyalty and honesty can come into conflict, testing the very fabric of a friendship. Imagine a friend comes home and tells a blatant lie to her parents about where she was last night. Myself and her alone know the truth. Her parents turned to face my direction, trusting my response, "I'll never lie to them" all written in the depth of their eyes and on the other end is my friend who trusts me to keep a secret. What would I do? 🤔
Honesty and trust are two crucial things. Loyalty is a glue that holds a friendship together, building a sense of trust and security while honesty allows people to build trust and work through challenges, trusting them to handle truth and make informed decisions. But then there are several things to consider in every scenario where honesty and loyalty becomes a friendship test. Standing before me are people who have some level of trust in me and one mistake, if not properly handled can lead to distrust among them. So below are things I'll consider in making my decision.
Navigating the conflict
One thing I'll consider is the consequences. The present time might seem harmless but the future consequence of saying the truth or hiding the truth may come into consideration. Would her parents use the vexation of her lying to them or where she was to restrict her from so many things? Would the truth affect her relationship with her parents? Would she be mature enough to handle the truth and trust me again with another secret ? All these I'll consider while making my choice between loyalty and honesty.
Another thing I'll consider is; prioritizing empathy. Sometimes we don't know how it feels until we put ourselves in the position of another. Why did she do the thing she did? Why did she choose to lie instead of saying the truth? What would I have expected from my daughter if I was in the position of the parents? Etc. Prioritizing empathy can help me know how well to handle the situation at hand, whether loyalty or honesty should be put first. Sometimes the truth can be more hazardous and other times lies becomes a ghost that haunts us in the future.
Even though I'll communicate openly with my friend about my concern to support her, I'll consider saying the truth and this is for the adage that says "Say the truth and the truth will set you free". The truth may hurt at the present but it'll avoid many wrongs. This is because she'll keep lying and using me as her escape route until it damages her and myself at one point especially if where she had gone to the night was a place that could hold a severe consequence if things go wrong. But I'll choose to stick to loyalty if it was a place that could bring her success in some ways. so, my response would be base on this two things considering the consequences and prioritizing empathy