"You're different". This is one statement I have heard a lot of times by people I encounter. One thing I remember is that I don't struggle to do anything that warrants the statement above and this means whatever habit I portray is done involuntarily and is a habit I had acquired from childhood.
I grew up with my grandma. She was known for so many things, kindness and troublesome were the two major traits. She could give her all and remain empty and satisfied as long as the other person is happy and if someone wanted hell, she gave that in equal measure. When I was younger, she always served me extra food with the instructions to eat with certain friends and even at home she cooks beyond the quantity we need with the hope that someone may come around. One thing I knew about her was that she prefers to give than take. She often doesn't put herself in the position of need but is eager to lend a helping hand to the needy at any time. So our house was more like a home for everyone, and a place of comfort.
I have seen a replicate of this trait in me. Even though I wasn't allowed to do hard work because of my health condition, I never allowed myself to be in a position where I settled for others to give to me, no, I always want to work and be the giver. In fact , all my life I have known myself as the giver because I don't want to settle in that position where I am given. This has made me hardworking in some ways and also made me look responsible. It has also helped me in life generally not to be dependent but take up responsibilities even at a young age. It can be stressful and sometimes frustrating, but it has made me who I am today-A guy who doesn't rely on any person or system to survive.
I'll want my children to have this trait of a giver. It will make them conscious of the decisions they take in life and also instill in them the mindset of showing kindness. The world nowadays wants to take but doesn't want to give. If we can recreate people who believe in giving rather than taking, then the world is half way a better place.
But then my Grandma was troublesome, you wouldn't realize this until you touch her wrong button. People also knew about this part of her and as much tried to avoid crossing her red line which was impossible, because the red line was wide and any little mistake can make your feet land on it. She had been taken to the police station even in her old age because of her troublesome nature , but I was glad to have skipped that part of her trait. How I didn't inherit that, I can't tell. But one thing I wouldn't want my children to recreate about me is my inability to say "NO" . A little good and bad should be a perfect blend, and learning to say NO is a skill that everyone ought to have.