How I Embarrassed Myself Before My Students
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Sometimes when I recall certain events that played out in my life, I laugh alone. But what is life without all those experiences? Some of them were bad no doubt and some funny but I can't deny the fact that they are part of the things that made me who I am today.
There were times I faced situations that were so hard on me that I wished I could just fast forward the moment and find somewhere to hide myself for the shame to pass. Funny enough, life will not give you that option, you will remain there and receive every single blow it brings.
Embarrassing moments are terrible, it's even better you were beaten than to be embarrassed. It stings hurts more than anything else.
But we can't avoid it, it's part of life. One thing I have done recently is throw my pride away. I don't carry people's expectations on my head and I already positioned my mind that I am human and I would err. As such, if I get embarrassed, I just take it, accept the correction, and walk away with no hard feelings.
I am not owing anyone anything, I am not owing you prestige or expectations. If things go wrong with me, if you feel embarrassed or bad for me you are on your own. If you like to say, "Guy I felt for you, you mean your trouser tore in the market square?" Ogah, you are on your own. That one is none of my business. I can't keep pretending to be perfect when I know I am not.
Only those who are perfect get embarrassed, a person who admits he or she is only a learner in life wouldn't need to feel embarrassed, because they know in learning, crazy things are bound to happen to the learner.
My Experience
Some years ago during my Teaching Practice exercise, I had a terrible experience that almost made me run mad.
All my life I never imagined I was going to teach for once, I have always wanted to be a medical doctor but life happens. I later ended up going to the College Of Education, which made me an automatic teacher.
During my Teaching Practice days, I promised myself that I was going to become a good teacher. I know what it feels like to have a teacher who doesn't know what he is giving out to his students.
So, I studied every day like I was going to write an examination the following day just to be intact. I got used to teaching without holding reading from books, I find it distracting.
One day, I came to the class to teach and as usual, I kept my notebook on the desk. And I started dispensing, the topic was the solar system, I can still remember.
When I got to the nine planets, I listed everything out and started explaining one after the other, you know each planet has its distance from the sun. I am not so good at holding figures in my head, I knew I was going to fuck up but my stubborn heart won't let me pick my note and call those figures.
I succeeded in mentioning a few and then everything disappeared from my head, you need to see me in the class that day, I started stuttering. "One million, two, two" hmm! "Carry book," something was telling me, but I said "no."
I thought the students didn't notice I was confused until a female student said "Uncle, if the thing is hard for you, use book na," and the class laughed.
Gosh, That thing got me, I felt like the ground should open and swallow me. You know what? I didn't act like I noticed what happened, I went straight to the table and picked up my book, wrote the correct figure on the board, and told them, "That will be all for today, bring out your notebooks let's write some notes."
Throughout that day, I was not myself, anytime I saw the student who said that thing I felt ashamed. But it's life we all err, with time I overcame the shame but the memory is still there. If there is any embarrassing memory I would love to erase, it will be this very one.