Marriage is a beautiful thing, irrespective of what anyone says. Having to have your soulmate, spending the rest of your life learning new things about them, having fun, and making little humans that take after them is a beautiful journey, but before we get to the stage of announcing a man and a woman as husband and wife,. In the western part of Nigeria, there are three compulsory steps that individuals must pass through. In this blog, I will explain them to you so that you can learn more about Western Nigerian culture.
In Western Nigerian culture, when a lady and a man have decided to take their relationship to the next level, the first thing they have to do is something called
Introduction.
The introduction stage is the stage where the man brings his family to the lady's house to introduce himself and his family, letting them know that he is interested in their daughter and he would like to ask for her hand in marriage.
In Nigeria, you just don't go around marrying people without seeking permission from the girl's parents. During the introduction stage, the man's family will introduce themselves, and all family members should be present. The lady's family will be the one to host the man's family, as they are the ones coming to seek her hand in marriage. At this stage, the family will either accept the man or reject him. The man's friends and other people he knows will be around, and the same goes for the lady.
It is normal for the man to have already come to introduce himself as an individual before that day, so the lady's family will be expecting him. Everything must be done with preparation to ensure that the introduction day doesn't turn into a disaster.
After the introduction stage has been done successfully, the next step is the
Traditional Wedding/Engagement Ceremony.
The traditional wedding is one that is done according to the traditions of the Western part. This time, the man is coming fully to seek her hand in marriage, and this time, he is allowed to take her home and perform his responsibilities as a man to her.
Before the traditional wedding or engagement ceremony, the man will receive a list of items to bring to the lady's house or another selected location where they can traditionally unite as husband and wife. Normally, most people do this kind of wedding and stop here because there is no need to perform any other after they have been joined traditionally.
Back in the olden days, people didn't go beyond this step, but after modernization, a new step has been added, which most people go for before due to societal norms, and this last step is known as
Religious/Modernized Wedding.
The religious weddings are mostly done in churches, mosques, or shrines, depending on the religion a person is born into or marrying into. Even if you have done the traditional wedding, it is expected of a person to do a religious wedding because it shows the respect they have for their religion.
The clerics or pastors have to unite the couples according to their holy book, which will lead to greater recognition and respect for them.
The modernized wedding is the court wedding, which is sometimes done on the same day or a different day. The court wedding is done mostly because of the law of the land, and some benefits it has are applying for a job or visa or changing location, and this is all possible due to the certificate obtained from the court after the wedding.
After all this step is done, the couples are now known to be husband and wife, traditionally, religiously, and according to the law.
So before coming to the western part of Nigeria to get married, just know you will have to pass through all these steps before you can claim a lady to be your wife.
Thanks for reading, and I hope you learned something. My name is Fashtioluwa.
All Images used are mine.