So, I had to leave my room to the sitting areas on the porch to write this. I’d been feeling unsettled the whole of today. Yesterday was quite the experience for me. I think I’ve mentioned a couple of times about the eye defect I have. Ocular hypertension is what the opticians said. But basically, I’ve got to get two different lenses for my eyes because the pressure emitting out of my right eye is on a different scale from my left.
It’s something I’ve been battling with since last year. Maybe it’s all the screens or all the dim lights or all the reading in the dark from over the years. But once I got my glasses in August, it felt like all my problems were over. But I’ve been to two different opticians this year who have given me glasses and for some reason, the prescription, while okay, in the beginning, over time fails to work for me.
Being forced to sleep when you’re not sleepy because your eyes fill like they’re being dug from inside with pincers and tears overflowing like someone heartbroken is not something that anyone should go through every single day. And the worst part is that it doesn’t get better even when I wear my glasses.
Last night was rather painful because I’m a bit behind on studying and I’ll have to write exams in about a week and a half from now and I tried to study and it started. It was frightening because everyone was asleep at home and it felt like I’d reached my end. I had to hold the phone ninety degrees away from me to chat because my eyes were practically burning each time I looked at the screen.
I like to feel independent most of the time but as I was home with my family, I quite literally ran to my parents’ room, fountain of tears, sobbing and all and Mom got immediately alert and tried pacifying me that it would be okay and if I liked, she would accompany me to another optician the next day. Independent lady be damned, I could have agreed to her carrying me if she was so obliged, at that moment.
I went back to my room and tried to find a way to distract myself from the pain. I couldn’t sleep because I’d slept for three hours in the afternoon and I just wasn’t ready to submit to the pain for the umpteenth time. I held my phone and texted a friend that I’d like to talk. So while the call was going on, I closed my eyes and tried relaxing it as I spoke. It helped cause I got to laugh and at some point in the pretty lengthy call, I forgot about the pain which I forgot to add, had come with a splitting headache.
Today had me making a lot of plans. I found out at some point that I wouldn’t be able to make it to the opticians. I was worried about how I’d be able to face the night since the pain was already at a great level. And it was such a bright day. I’m supposed to be at the bank tomorrow for an account upgrade since my current bank plan isn’t favouring me. And it’s got to be tomorrow, inevitably pushing the visit to the optician to Thursday.
I refused to be blindsided like other days though and I’m not even sure it’s the right thing. But I asked one of my sisters to go to the pharmacy and get some reputable painkillers to arm myself with for the days ahead. I ignored getting any antibiotics because I’m not big on self-medication and painkillers are my limit when it comes to that.
I’m racing to put this all down because I’m currently without my glasses. Surprisingly, after my long siesta today, there’s no sign of the pain yet and I’m holding my breath and seeing how much productivity I can get in before it starts. Or is it too much to hope that it doesn’t start at all?
Anyway, this is my evening ramble. It’s about 8 pm now. I’m moving to the school’s dorm at practically the beginning of January and I realized that I’m yet to have almost anything ready. I’m trying not to begin the year with tension or pressure of any form. So my remaining eyesight battery (lol) for the night is to write out my plans for the next seven days as that’s about all the time I have before I’ll need to be on school premises.
I hope all of us are having a great day and getting ready for all the awesomeness 2024 has to offer. All the best to everyone.
Jhymi🖤
Image is mine.
