I appreciate when we come together to ask ourselves vital questions. Because there a lot of things we just assume in our heads, so they are left unsaid. And because they are left unsaid, the changes and reforms that need to be made are also absent. I saw a beautiful question posed by the Hive Naija Community, and I decided that I would definitely think of a good answer to this question even as I talk about it.
How Much of Your Culture Should You Pass to Your Children?
You can’t talk about the kind of culture or how much of it you should pass to your children without talking about culture in itself. The world has evolved so much so that we need to re-evaluate how much culture we choose to live by, let alone the kind of culture we decide to teach our children. What people do not realize about culture is that what we call our culture of today were simply rules and tenets that the people of that time chose to live by because it was relevant to their livelihood and sustenance at the time.
So, you choosing to live by the culture of that time without putting into consideration that it may not necessarily be relevant to you now would be shooting yourself in the foot, wouldn't you say?
What aspect of my culture would I pass to my children? Names. I love traditional names that have deep meanings and sound rhythmic enough for me to like. I’m of two tribes: Ibibio and Igbo, and I will make sure that my kids have the names of both tribes, and if their Dad is of a different tribe, that tribe's name would also be featured among their names. Names are what make us in my opinion, and it is an aspect of culture that I do not want to do without, simply because it needs to be preserved. Having all English names that tell nothing on my roots is unappealing to me, contrary to how most people of today think.
Then, there are other things like language. My parents, I admit, did not do quite do well with my siblings and I when it comes to our native language, because we are still (at this age) not quite fluent with our mother tongue on both sides. And I’m afraid, language is one part of our culture that is dying, what with our Lingua franca becoming English more and more. I’m big on our cultural languages because they all sound so wonderful and we shouldn’t disperse of them in a bid to be “woke.”
Same with dressing. I don’t think that one is going anytime soon anyway, but yeah, traditional dresses are it and should be passed on. Way too majestic not to. Then, there are the other things. I’m sorry, I’m not part of the “what will people use the greeting and do?” gang. Please, you will greet people that are older than you, and you will greet when you are enter the midst of people. Respect is a black people culture, and more than anything, an African culture. Unless you particularly want to revolt, it is in our DNA to be respectful. I am, and my kids MUST be as well. Of course, there is a difference between respect and sheer idiocy, but I guess that’s conversation for another day.
The culture I will not be passing to my children is anything that even remotely promotes sexism, patriarchy or/and misogyny of any form. Cooking is a basic life skill. Regardless of your gender, you must learn it. Also, there is no such thing as “why are you crying as a guy? Are you a girl?” My boy child will have emotions because he is a human being. He won’t be subjected to the “men don’t cry” madness that has turned most men into the unfeeling beings that they are now. Amongst many other practices that I will abolish in my household.
That completes it, I think. I love culture. And will uphold it as long as it follows fairness, good conscience and reason.
Jhymi🖤
Images are mine.
