There was a time I used to believe that life followed this strict, never changing formula, want to know the formula, well here is it, work hard+stay disciplined=success. You know like the everyday Nigeria slang "no food for a lazy man". I so much believe and carried it like a badge of honor, ready to lecture anyone who dared to disagree. Hardwork would turn okirika shoe shop into designer sneakers outlets, hardwork could turn Mama Yusuf food stall into a global franchise. At 18,19 and 20 years of age, if I were told that hard work didn’t guarantee success, I’d juat laugh, and tell you to be playing. The Nigeria way is hustle or die trying. But then, life came for me like a Lagos danfo driver with no horn nor brakes.
It came without notice nor permission. During my NYSC, I worked, as in, I worked, I threw myself into my PPA (Primary Place of Assignment). I wasn’t just teaching, I became a crusader for education reform.
I did extra classes, I volunteered for school projects amongst other volunteering works, I wrote lesson notes as if they were theses for my doctoral theses.
Then came the time to be recommended for a very cool government position, I was so sure my dedication would shine through. But guess who got the slot, it was the principals niece who only knows how to take pictures, do her tiktok videos in the staffroom. I was sad because they did not deserve such, if it was given to someone else, who at least I could say is trying, I would have thought it would be my turn soon and that maybe I hadn’t worked hard enough.
Then came my cousin Yinka. Yinka would’ve been a billionaire if partying and all were a way to make it big, he has zero work ethic, but he had this knack for showing up at the right place at the right time, he always come around anytime we are cooking, we might just be complaining about power outage for days and then light came accompanied by Yinka, smiles, he has those kind of things about him. And it so happened for him, he went to a wedding he wasn't invited for, his ex wedding at that, and there he met a CEO, the man just said he likes his energy, his vibe and that was all, no degree, no experience and he charmed his way into a six figure job in Lagos. Meanwhile, I was there, unemployed, with stacks of certificates.
Then, here comes the real slap, Mrs. Fola. She was a widow in her 60s, she had poured her life savings and retirement benefits into a poultry business. She was someone I knew so well, she was the hardest working person her age I’d ever seen. She wakes up early, she treats her workers nicely, she never missed church, shes always lending a helping hand to people around. One bad season of bird flu, her entire investment got wiped off, I mean all,nothing to actually hold on to. I visited her, expecting her to wail and curse life’s unfairness. Instead, she smiled and was comfortable, she said something that day,that I will never forget, she said “Hard work isn’t everything, my dear. God’s grace, timing, and relationships matter just as much.”
I started paying attention. The bus driver hustling 15-18 hours a day couldn’t afford daily bread not to talk of rent, while the influencer posting three skits a week had just bought a Benz. Then we have farmers tilling the land and toiling under the hot sun earning crumbs, while middlemen are chilling in their air-conditioned offices making millions. Is life absurd or just unfair. Sweat, hustle then success is not the reality.
But I was stubborn o, I still did some other things that I poured my whole into and someone else did same, at the same time as mine, well as you have guessed, the result was just too different. “Life isn’t fair!” But deep down, I knew and realized something crucial, life is an intricate dance of hard work, luck, connections, and timing. We love to say, “God no go shame us,” but sometimes life does, and it’s not because we did not try. It’s because the world isn’t a balanced equation where effort equals outcome.
Well, I adjusted, I stopped worshipping the hustle and hustle and hustle culture. I learned that while hard work does help builds, it doesn’t guarantee success. I started working smarter, valuing relationships. And I started giving myself rest, I now saw it as a necessity and not luxury. I play, laugh, joke even in the midst of challenges, I let go of the idea that struggle was the only path to achieving greatness.
Now, I laugh more and I stress less. I’ve learned to give my best without obsessing over outcomes, knowing that life isn’t a straight road but one with bumps and all, now if someone tells me, “Just work hard, and everything will be fine,” I just smile.
Life I realize is like a pot of Nigerian stew/jollof, it’s not just the pepper or the meat, it’s the mix of "everything" that makes it rich.