Subtle Grounding

There were many things I never quite understood their essence until I was much older, and they became evidently useful from time to time. All those times I would begrudgingly do certain chores I didn't like, everyday, the times I would greet the same adults thrice in one day—they were all part of a grand plan.

When you live with different types of people many times, you see just but a tiny percentage of the various kinds of people that exist in this life. And for many of them, you'd wonder why they don't see certain things the way you do. We all have different upbringing, and chances are, other people sometimes think the same way. It's just that there are simple ways in order to NOT sabotage oneself.

"Don't take things from strangers. And even if it's from someone I know, make sure you first bring it home to me." My parents always said. I would always oblige, of course, but other than the obvious fact that there are malicious people there out to get little kids, it actually teaches some character ethics. Be content and careful. Stretching this idea, it could also wire the sense of accountability in a child. "Bring it home to me," remember.

Another is greeting older people. I would literally wake up beside my mother, see her all day, and even have her tuck me to bed as a kid, yet I had to greet her every now and then. Perhaps not so frequently, but she could ask me to redo the greeting and "properly" prostrate to her if I had been shabby with it. I just got used to it over time, and that was how I would greet elderly people. This is a thing in Yoruba land, though, but the idea was to imbibe respect, and it can go a long way sometimes.

Simply because my brother and I had been well-taught to greet properly, this somehow helped us be endearing to people. They'd quickly like us, and then maybe even go a little extra mile to be kind to us. It's more than just the greeting, though; it's more about the acknowledgement of order and respect. I would then quickly learn that being respectful can be an advantage.

House chores, too. Before we'd eat breakfast, especially on Saturdays, my mother would ask, "What have you done for me this morning?" Basically implying that I must have been somehow useful in the house to think I could ask for breakfast. Honestly, this idea always angered me—because, in my mind, do I not need some carbohydrates to actually do the chores? Even worse was the emphasis on being thorough. Anyway... their roof, their rules. But it always was a good thing.

I got used to that lifestyle, so being in another person's house, I am never useless. As a matter of fact, I could take pride in being very useful. The reality is that it brings honor, and one can earn some respect and favour that way. I wouldn't want to be that guy that'll have people saying, "Finally, he's gone!" when I leave their house because I was some liability shortening their oxygen ration.

The grand plan is always to have one's children regularly bring honor and good news home, I believe. But more than it does for the home, good character ethics takes people to places their knowledge and skills may not suffice in.