It was exactly a month to my wedding, and my kid brother had jokingly asked me, what if God asks you not to marry this man, what will be your response? I looked at him and said, God cannot be joking with me like that now, where does he expect me to start from? It's not even possible, so stop talking nonsense, I firmly replied. This is the only man I have ever loved all my life so I knew this marital journey was going to be a good one, even during the wedding, we had so many people admiring us as we had so many things to whisper to ourselves, we were in love and it was obvious.
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During courtship, we had our moments of fights, quarrels, and arguments which gets sorted as fast as possible and we move past them, life was sweet and we were ready to build our amazing family together. After sometime, I got pregnant and it was tough, I couldn't cope with anything as I was consistently throwing up and feeling weak, I just wanted to stay in bed all day. We didn't have any close relative around, so my husband took up the responsibility of taking care of me, the home, and trying to make money at the same time.
I could tell he felt tired sometimes, but he never allowed me to feel bad, even when I try to do certain things, he just tells me to go back to bed. But, I guess I started noticing some changes when I was about to have my baby, I am not sure if it was my mind or I was right, but it just seemed there was always something to be angry about, I was really unhappy with so many things, at some point my husband also started reacting because he felt I was doing too much.
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Things got worse when my baby came, I had a very terrible labor experience and that did a lot to me and my mental health. My Mum stayed for a while and hurried back to her base because she needed to get back to work, and that was when the reality of motherhood dawned on me. I was not taking it well at all, I felt alone, nothing my husband did was ever enough I complained about everything, blamed him for everything, and was always angry. During that time, finances was not doing so great too and I felt terrible, I blamed myself for getting married to him and I constantly said it to his face that I regretted getting into the marriage, we were literally tearing apart and it was obvious.
I am the one who always remembers anniversaries and celebrations but I didn't even remember our first year wedding anniversary, when my husband came to me that morning and said, "happy anniversary babe", I said to myself, what is there to be happy about and didn't even respond. I focused so much on his flaws and his response was always, but you knew these things before marriage and I am trying to work on them, why is it a problem now. I was tired, at some point I wanted to opt out, but before then, I decided to go back home. It was a festive season so all my siblings were home, during one of our conversation, I poured out my heart to them about my marriage, they were shocked because no one had an idea that I was going through anything of the sort.
That was where my healing started from, my sibling's pointed out my errors to me and suggested certain gospel preachers I needed to listen to, that holiday was truly needed. I got back to my husband and had a heart-to heart conversation with him, poured out my heart about how I felt, we apologized to one another where necessary and we choose to start over again.
If anyone had ever told me that I will begin to dislike the man I had dated for 10 years just after one year of marriage, I would have argued with all the strength I had in me, but it actually happened. Now I can relate with reasons why people will date for a long time and break up after a short period, I am happy mine worked out though.
Hi, I am Tobi, a writer, speaker, relationship blogger, and lover of good music. I love making friends and learning from people. Want to hear me speak on relationships and general life issues? You can find my YouTube channel where you can listen and watch any episode for free. Please, do not forget to subscribe, friends. I sincerely appreciate every love I get from here. Kindly do well to keep them coming.