I can say child raising is a whole lot of job, it is a profession on it's own which is not everybody that's good at it. Some are good at child's bearing but not good at child's raising and why is this? I hate to hear some parents say, "a child cannot kill me, I didn't kill my parents or I came to life to enjoy, I can't stress myself over any child". Then what is your duty as a parent if you cannot stress yourself over your child or children.
As a lady, I've always wished to have my children when the time comes. I looked at how I was bring raced and also learn from other families. I picked some quality ways I would love to adopt when I have my children and leave the ones I don't prefer due to one reason or the other. Children are to be loved and cherished no doubt, it is right to pamper one's child or children but not to the extreme.
Likewise it is right to chastise and rebuke then when they are wrong but yet not to do extreme. Just as an adage that says "when you use the right hand to beat a child, you will use the left hand to draw him or her back to you", that is after correcting a child for wrong doings, it is good and right to show such child again that you care.
This is one thing I love my tribe for, yoruba tribe has different proverbs for different situations in life. Another proverb says, "you can't sent a bad child to the lion's deb for lions to devour". It means that no matter how bad a child could be, it is not appropriate to dislike or abandon such child, you have to correct him or her in love.
The holy book, that is the Bible also emphasizes on child's raising, it says, "spare the rod and spoil the child", if a child goes wrong and you decided not to correct such child because him or her is your favorite, you are only destroying such child's life. Correct your child or children when the are wrong but do it in love, that is the most important thing.
It is important to make a child understand that he or she has to fear his or her parents. Like having the feeling that your parents are guardian. Which means they have the right to correct and advice. The fear in the sense that he or she will not want to tarnish their image by doing anything inappropriate. This is what I was brought up with and it has been guiding my path.
I knew things that my parents would not be happy with when I do them, so I always avoid then in order not to disappoint them. But in other hands, many parents took this to the extreme, creating fears in the hearts of their children which makes it very difficult for the children to relate , and share things with their parents.
In response to the prompt, if and when I raise children, I'll never be too strict on them that they will find it difficult to make me their best friend by sharing their problems with me.
This had ruined the lives of many children because their parents didn't give the space for good communication between the children and the parents. Such child or children ends up telling their inexperienced friends about their life or lives and that might lead them astray.
As for me, I would love to be my children best friend so as to put them on the right path in life. Scold them when need be and pamper them when necessary. That is the beauty of parenthood, motherhood to be precise.
Thanks for your time and your comments will be appreciated.