Florida is an endless treasure-trove of hilarity as far as law-enforcement is concerned. The crimes committed by the seemingly nutso population is relatively harmless but never fails to amuse. Go ahead and do the "Florida Challenge" by typing in your birthday without the year and follow it with "Florida Man" in a web search and you'll be treated to something nuts that happened on the day you were born.
This week's Florida isn't a man at all but rather a woman zombie that chooses very public places to display her mental illness which combined with meth makes for a rather bizarre crime.
Lisa Sloane wasn't content to just smoke some rock and then hang out with other meth-heads, that would be far too sensible for Florida. Instead, she thought it would be a good idea to don a decorative helmet and wield a pitchfork and a whip and hang out in the parking lot of a supermarket.
It is reported that she did use the pitchfork to attack an SUV and that is what brought the police around in the first place. This is still Florida after all so hanging around in menacing Halloween gear in the middle of a parking lot on meth is still just par for the course and no cause for alarm.
Lisa Sloane was approached by officers who asked her to put down the weapon, which a pitchfork in the hands of a tweaker certainly is, and when she refused they cuffed her and put her in the back of the cruiser. The tirade of this parking lot pirate wasn't over at this point because she proceeded to try to kick out the back window - which we all know is definitely possible because police cars don't have special windows or anything.
They got her under control by putting shackles on her feet and putting her back in the car at which point she said "I feel no pain anymore, God is in control now." My assumption at this point was that she was just possessed by the Holy Spirit but I was wrong. Nope, it was meth again. This seems to be a recurring feature with many of the Florida arrests that happen.
Lisa was charged with assault with a deadly weapon but come on! This is Florida and she will no doubt be released back into the wild where she will continue her extreme cosplay in another parking lot in the near future.
I like Florida and have never noticed it being like this the few times I visited there but then again, I don't really hang out in meth circles. It appears to be a very liberating way of life right up until the police get involved.