Cardboard worth more than Gold

I am a nerd. That statement comes with it's own stigma; that statement comes with it's own rewards. I know Magic: the Gathering better than most people in my region. I know the game, I know the interactions, the play. I used to chase the Pro Tour in the hopes of making it my job (spoiler alert: it costs a lot for that kind of gig), I used to be a L1 judge. (nerd.)

I know the cards. I know how to grade their condition, how to handle them without damaging them, how to store them properly, how to ship them across the width of the United States without damaging them, and what they are worth.

I pulled this card out of a pack today. This card is worth more than its weight in gold, and it is a piece of shiny-ass cardboard.

This card weighs 2.03 g. That is 2 grams of CARDBOARD. This may not be worth anything to you. I am fine with that. This card isn't most likely something you would even consider buying. Know what?

Somebody bought one of these for 199.99 USD a couple of days ago. Close to a week before that, somebody was REALLY concerned with the bling, and plopped down 225 USD for one.

For 2.03 grams of cardboard. How much you gonna pay for 2.03 grams of gold?

...less than you will end up paying for this card, and you can't even use it to play a game.
Drop this on the table at a tournament and you will be laughed at and made to look a fool. We nerds don't care what flex you have outside the gaming room. We care about kicking your ass and winning the game.

Drop this baby out there. Not only will you impress your opponent, anyone watching, probably a few defunct Hindu gods, the judge, and the shy gal across the room who has been coyishly eyeing your game, but you stand a good chance of out-ramping that poor chump across the table from you and smoking his ass before he even knows what hit him. Or her.

And it has fucking Fallout on it. Double win.

Disclaimer: I would not suggest putting this Paper in your Pocket.