One time at the office, it was Valentine's Day, and we didn't have much engagement at work. So in our free time, we discussed our love lives, and then the married ones among us asked the single ones about their marriage expectations and the type of partner they would want to end up with. When it got to be my turn, the first on my list of expectations was financial security. I want to live life to the fullest, and it's common knowledge that money is the ticket to the good life.
Next on the list was physical appearance. I care so much for my unborn generations that I am not about to settle for any partner with inferior genes. I expect my man to be handsome, above average height, and have a proportionate body build. The last expectation is good character; I want a compassionate partner who listens, communicates, and understands.
After my analysis, they were concerned that I did not mention a God-fearing man. I have seen people do the worst and use various religious texts to back their monstrosity. I am not about to question my beliefs in God by ending up with a partner who will hide under God's name to perpetrate evil, so please, I'd rather cling to what I am sure of, even when he's not religious.
While I have my expectations, I am also constantly improving myself in terms of value so that I don't fall to a position that makes my expectations invalid.
The conversation with my colleagues opened my eyes to many things, and I started seeing marriage differently. As a union between individuals from different backgrounds, marriage is serious business. While some might want to view it as a romantic union, I'd rather see it as a transactional venture that calls for careful consideration and negotiations.
Unfortunately, people tend to shy away from discussions that deal with the practical aspect of marriage. It's either that they are overlooked or neglected for other inconsequential matters. For example, some women might want to cling to a man because he's wealthy. Forgetting that wealth does not equal generosity nor kindness.
Then, some men might get attracted to career women because they want to have 50/50 financial responsibilities. Trouble starts when such men demand that their partner be submissive, forgetting that money gives everyone a sense of authority. It also gets difficult when these men expect such women who are career-driven to be homely. In the long run, the marriage of such people ends badly because they failed to do their due diligence in ensuring everyone is on the same page.
In my opinion, when proposing marriage, questions bordering on expectations, values and interests should be the utmost priority. The reason is, it is such a question that will expose couples to a deeper understanding of each other's needs, desires and long-term goals. It could also give rise to informative and meaningful conversations that allow both partners to assess their compatibility. Thus, ensuring a crisis-free marital experience