I have been fortunate to be with different kinds of people. We can not deny the fact that we are wired differently. Whereas some people are selfish and ungrateful, some are selfless and appreciative.
But let's not get carried away, even the appreciative ones can surprise you when you least expect it.
Many times you hear people say, “I care about this person, I wish this person were part of my life,” only to have the person around for a particular moment, and they stop seeing the values they once saw in their lives when they weren't together.
This thing is very common; I have experienced it too. There were people I cherished so much when I first met them. I thought if only this lady would be mine, then everything would be settled.
Well, I ended up having that same lady in my life, but gradually, the vibe began quenching, and things kept going cold until we separated.
I don't know why I am taking this topic this way, maybe because it is a serious matter that we all need to look into intently.
Sometimes, I wonder how couples live together. Honestly, if you are privileged to ask them questions, you would be shocked at what your ears would hear.
But these same people once felt like they couldn't do without each other. Once upon a time, when they weren't courting, the man or the woman felt like the other person was worth more than gold.
When the man was asking her out for a relationship, he probably calls countless times a day without seeing it as a burden, but when he had her, the energy fizzled out.
In the same order, when the lady was catching feelings, she longed for the man's call and could call many times and text just to hear from him but now that she has him, everything has become ordinary.
It is at this point that people say “love fades,” but does anything fade? If you look at it closely, nothing faded; it was just availability that ruined everything.
Let the man or the woman travel out for some time, let the consciousness of “he/she is mine” be removed, and you would be surprised how everything would come back fresh.
In truth, when something is always available, it becomes almost useless. This is why we ought to know when to draw the line.
If we must stay relevant in people's lives, we must learn the principle of scarcity, not because we want to punish people, but so that we would be able to save our relationship or friendship.
I have observed this with my friends many times, when I was not always available, when I declined certain meetings, when I deliberately refused to visit, when I shut down and reached out to no one for a certain time, they long to see me. They long to hear from me.
But as soon as I begin to become too available, disrespect begins to set in again. This is probably the nature of people, even our parents.
No matter how relevant people are to us, I don't buy the idea of always being available. Am I saying we should just ghost people and act like we don't care?
Certainly, no. But once in a while, with wisdom, we should learn to be scarce. This is not to punish anyone, but to give the relationship enough breathing space to know our worth.
N.B: All Images Were Generated By Gemini AI