The journey of life is quite tedious but when you have someone at your corner to walk the path, life becomes a lot more bearable. How we come by such people does not really matter but finding the right qualities in the the person will definitely worth it. Like i have always said, I'm no an expert when it comes to discussing matters relating to relationship, it is something that transcends logical reasoning and I'm a logical person. It is tricky for most people to apply logic to matters of the heart, when lust, emotions and sentiments sets in, they forget the little things that matters.
I'm not against being affectionate and attracted to someone based on what is seen but is it all that matters? Why do people suddenly put their brains on suspension when they find someone attractive? There are lot of things to be considered when looking for a partner, I mean marriage is meant to be a forever journey, so wouldn't you want to find yourself in the company of the right person? Choosing wrongly doesn't seem to be a priority for most people but for me, walking through the struggles of life with someone I find unbearable, there is no greater hell than this.
When you ask a man, what are you looking for in a woman? I'm sure they would have a lot to say, ranging from beauty, skill and character but then what a man truly wants is a peaceful home, to find someone who turns a house into a home, someone he can find comfort in. There are a lot of things to say about this but I will keep it short.
The concept of the perfect person does not really exist, you find someone you can tolerate and that person becomes your perfect person. Humans are combination of chaos and goodness, so perfection is not really our strong suit. To choose a person to tolerate means you both need something in common that would make your union bearable. Living with a person with an entirely different perspective from yours on matters of life is not advisable.
For me, the starting point is noticing a specific quality in the person, which is discipline. It might sound strange but I have realise that there are hundreds of qualities men expect a woman to posses. The tricky aspect of this is that, every quality is embedded in discipline. When you speak of character, loyalty, cleanliness e.t.c it all falls back to discipline. I know we are all work in progress but then having a partner with high level of discipline is a game changer. Their manner of thinking will definitely be different compared to others.
In this present generation, there are lot of people out there looking all good and well packaged but I tell you most of them are fractured mentally. They are like rotten goods with good packaging. I have seen lot of broken marriages but when I look at the cause of it, it is mostly because both couple or one of them lacks discipline, which will eventually turn out to become an issue. Have you ever heard of some marriage stories and be like, what exactly is going on in people's head?
I watched a tiktok video Few months ago, in the video there was a Lady talking about her red flags in men. Among the many things she said, she mentioned few things that really sounded funny to me. She said, she can't be with a man that is not earning above 6 figures and can't afford to buy her a yacht, I was like okay that is her own standard, she must also be loaded to have such expectations. So I decided to do a little research about her, this lady does not even have a net worth, she is just an influencer on social media.
She also said she can't be with a man that still have a mother, this is where my heart stopped. She kept ranting about some things she can't tolerate about a mother-in-law, so she would prefer her man not to have any at all. I'm like because a man wants to have you, he has to first go ahead and murder his mother, does it not sound ridiculous? No person with a functioning brain would think in this way, I mean we all have standards but some people manner of thinking is inhumane.
I have seen and heard of couples harming each other or chasing each other on the streets with weapons, it makes you wonder what exactly could be the cause of this? I believe it is all as a result of indiscipline, a disciplined person will definitely have a composed character and a right thinking brain. For me beauty is just an addition but you see discipline is what I prioritise over everything else because at the end; beauty, love might fade but it will be discipline that would hold the marriage together.
Apart from discipline, having a partner who is kind and affectionate is definitely a bonus but the other thing I will expect from a partner is something that does not really matter much but it is important to me. It is height 😂, I'm not a fan of short people and the reason is not far-fetched. Have you ever heard of a conspiracy theory that sounds like a myth but somehow there are sceneries that proves it to be true?
I have always known short people to be troublesome in relationships. The one my friend dated, when they were having a little misunderstanding, she threw his smart TV down the stairs 😂. Like I said I'm not a man that have many expectations in a woman apart from discipline but you see this matter of short people, I don't think I have what it takes to tolerate them.
This write-up was inspired by week 14 SciFi multiverse prompt "Marriage standards" in SciFi multiverse community.
Cover image - 𝖣𝖾𝗌𝗂𝗀𝗇𝖾𝖽 𝗎𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖼𝖺𝗇𝗏𝖺
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