It is the primary duty of a parent to mod a child into someone who is considered to be responsible and an acceptable in the society, a duty that is solely dependent on the ability of a parent to discharge their duties. Irrespective of a parents short comings, every parent will definitely have a Standard or outlined principle that guides the way their child is trained which could be as a product or extract from religious doctrines, cultural heritage or individual perspective.
In as much as parenthood is learnt from experience, the ability of parents to impact needful knowledge on their child varies. Out of the little Well of knowledge in the possession of each parent, they expect their children to bath in it and appear in an image that conforms with their perspective of what a child should be like. As a child grows learning about themselves and their environment, they become more aware about their capabilities.
Therefore, before a child begins to discover who he/she is, he/she must have learnt few things from his/her parents on this foundation a child begins to build upon. The first thing parents give to a child is not just warm comfort but a family a child can trust and rely upon. The level of functionality of the family tends to determine what a child will turn out to be, what does this mean?
Based on my experience over the years, I have discovered that a child is a reflection of the family they are from. A child from a religious home might not be entirely religious but he/she will still show some signs in his/her personality that would prompt people to ask the question, are you from a religious home? It might sound funny but it is the truth.
There are some habits we learn subconsciously as we grow within the comfort of our family, habits we cultivate from the kind of culture practiced within the family. When I say culture, I'm not referring to the whole tribal stuff, though it might have a little to do with it but not the totality of it. What I mean is that; for a Christian family for instance, it is normal for you to find such a family doing morning devotion or praying before eating, a culture like this does not really relate with the tribe a person is from, it is related to religion.
Simple family cultures like this might not mean much at first but gradually you find a child imitating this wherever they go because it is the pattern of living they have become used to. Which means the family culture the child has been exposed to has in one way or the other shaped the child's personality and this culture might not be positive only, it can be negative also. That is why when you see a disrespectful child, the first thing that comes to mind is that; this child does not have home training because it is a general belief that a child should possess some specific traits if they are trained properly.
Speaking of family culture that have succeeded in shaping my life in one way or the other, my family have many but I will be discussing few out of it. There are lot of normal and religious culture we practice in my family but there are some that seems a little extra. My parents raised us to know the value of many things and never to take anything for granted, two out of these things are; the value of hard work and value of money. If we are having career talk or business related discussion, you would think we all studied business professionally but it is the way we were trained.
Due to this manner of upbringing, we learnt to always find ways to cut cost and never allow things go to waste. My dad would say; preparing food in excess and letting it go to waste might not look like a big deal but think about people who are still lacking the resources you are wasting, do you consider yourself better than them? It is a privilege granted to you through grace, don't take it for granted.
My parents made sure this was drilled into our skull, not just that, if we want to get things, we don't buy it in smaller quantity from nearby shops, we will make a list of things we want to buy and go to market and buy it in larger quantities because it reduces cost. This has become a tradition among us till today, it is very difficult for you to see me buy pieces of anything or else I can't afford a pack of it at the moment and whenever I visit the market, I always move around with a list and whatever I have to buy does not go beyond the list.
As I'm getting the stuff from the market, I jot down the cost of each item in front of it, so when I'm coming to the market next time, it makes it easier for me to budget and easily detect which item has become costly or not. The family I'm from has shaped my life in a lot of ways I'm grateful for today, so yes, I do believe that that the family a person comes from definitely plays a part in shaping who we become.
This write-up was inspired by week 40 episode 2 - SciFi multiverse titled "How family shapes who we become" in SciFi multiverse community.
Cover image - 𝖣𝖾𝗌𝗂𝗀𝗇𝖾𝖽 𝗎𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖼𝖺𝗇𝗏𝖺
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