Sometimes it feels like everybody is either getting married or talking about it, especially our African parents, it's like there is a trophy for any daughter or son who is getting married first. Marriage is not something we decide overnight, it takes a lot of thought and journey, it is not something you can just rush in because if you do then you will rush out.
Some people don’t believe in marriage anymore because of heartbreaks or disappointments, and I get it. But for me, I believe in it. I believe in having that one person who understands me and chooses me every day, even when life gets tough.
Let me be honest. I used to think I wanted a tall, huge guy with a nice beard, smooth dark skin, and a killer smile. You know the type that walks into a room and everyone turns their heads? That was my dream man. I believed that was the type of man that could make me happy. But as I grew older and started understanding life better, my priorities changed. I want a man that looks good, and that is what I go for anyway. I want someone I’ll wake up beside and smile just because of how peaceful he looks when he sleeps. But physical beauty alone is not enough for me anymore.
I want a man with a good heart. A man who fears God respects people and has self-control. I want a man who values peace more than pride. Life is already hard enough imagine coming back home from a stressful day and meeting someone who just wants to argue over small things. That’s not the life I want. I want peace. I want a man I can talk to, laugh with, pray with, and cry with. I want my husband to be my friend, not just someone I share a bed with.
When it comes to romance, yes, I want that too. I want a man who knows how to hold me, who understands when I need soft words and warm hugs. I don’t want someone cold and stiff, who sees showing affection as a weakness. I want him to touch me with intention, speak to me with love, and look at me like I’m the only woman in the world. That kind of man is rare, but he exists.
Now let’s talk about money. I’m not going to lie I want a man who is hardworking and financially responsible. I don’t need a billionaire. I just want someone who can provide for the home and is willing to build a future with me. If he’s rich, great. If not, let’s build together. I want us to be able to sit down and plan our finances, our goals, and how we want our lives to look in the next five or ten years. I don’t want a man who waits for miracles while doing nothing. I want someone who believes in effort.
As for roles in the home, I’m not the kind of woman who believes the man should do everything. I believe in partnership. If I cook, he can help me wash the plates it is not compulsory though, I just need a helping hand and If I’m tired, he can help out with the kids. I don’t believe submission means slavery. Submission to me means love, respect, and understanding. I will submit to a man who loves me, respects me, and carries me along in decision-making. But I will not submit to someone who talks down on me, controls me, or sees me as his property.
And yes, I want children. I want a man who will be a present father. Not the type that only provides money and disappears. I want him to play with his kids, teach them, pray with them, and be their role model. A man who leads by example, not just by command.
What I want is simple. A good man with a good heart. A man who understands the meaning of love, partnership, and responsibility. A man who is mine and not public property. I know no man is perfect, but I also know that love is not blind. We must open our eyes and choose wisely.
This is my entry for this episode of #smp-w14 prompt.
