Marriage is spiritual. Marriage is deep. Marriage is classical. Marriage is fun. Marriage can be dangerous. Marriage is beautiful. Yet, marriage can also be painful because it comes with many challenges. At the same time, marriage brings true happiness.
But sadly, many youths in this 21st century neglect the most important aspect of marriage—the spiritual. Instead, they focus only on the things they can physically see. What they fail to understand is that the spiritual controls the physical. Before anything good happens in the physical, it must first take place spiritually.
There are many things you must let go of when it comes to marriage. If you truly desire the right partner, you must focus on the spiritual side—where both of you must agree and be in harmony. Compatibility goes beyond physical traits.
MONEY FAILED
I’ve seen couples, especially ladies, marry just for money. But a few years later, the man loses his job due to retrenchment. The money disappears, and sadly, the woman returns to the street, fornicating, because her reason for marrying—money—is no longer there.
BEAUTY WASH AWAY
I’ve seen people marry for beauty or handsomeness. But years later, sickness comes, or an accident happens. The looks fade, and so does the love. I’ve seen a man marry a woman for her figure-eight body. But after childbirth, the figure changes, and what he once loved is gone. The love disappears because it was built on shallow reasons.
FRIENDSHIP NOT CERTAIN
Some marry in the name of friendship, only to later discover dark secrets. One man found out his wife had had six abortions in the past. That so-called friendship turned into disaster. This shows us that friendship, beauty, money—even sleep and physical strength—are not reliable foundations for marriage.
The only thing that is certain is the spiritual aspect. Are you spiritually compatible? Are your spirits aligned? Because the spirit controls the physical. If your partner’s spirit clashes with yours, disaster will follow.
FROM BIBLICAL POINT OF VIEW
The Bible says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” But from my 10 years of being married, I’ve come to understand this: You must find the right person through God’s guidance before you can truly enjoy that favor. Choosing by yourself without God is like walking blindly into the unknown.
MAKE SPIRITUAL YOUR MARRAGE STANDARD BECAUSE IT CONTAINED EVERY OTHER GOODIES
Let spirituality be your standard. Marriage is a lifelong journey. Remember, the person you’re dating today won’t look or act the same in 10 years.
I remember the first time I saw my wife. I was in the studio for a gospel recording. The moment I saw her, I knew she was my wife. But she wasn’t my “type.” I loved fair ladies—beautiful, stylish women. But she was dark-skinned, and her dressing didn’t appeal to me. I rejected her in my heart and even prayed against it.
But four years later, I went back to her, apologized, and made things right. Today, I’m one of the happiest men on earth. This same woman, who didn’t meet my “standard,” has given me peace of mind like never before.
So, what am I trying to say? Focus on the spiritual aspect. Surrender your marriage to God.
Here’s my final advice:
A girlfriend is different from a wife. A boyfriend is different from a husband. Let God choose for you. Why? Because only God knows tomorrow. Only He knows the man or woman who will walk the full journey of marriage with you, through pain, joy, and every storm. Only God can give you a partner who will stay with you forever.
This principle has worked for me. I once thought marriage was about beauty and looks. I thought I knew what I wanted. But when I let God lead me, He gave me the greatest gift of my life. For 10 years, I’ve never looked at another woman. My wife is my best friend. We talk every day. We share everything. And I thank God I didn’t choose with my eyes, but with my spirit.
So finally, make spiritual standard your standard. When you settle things in the spirit, everything else—beauty, wealth, peace, joy—will be added to it. When you face problems in your marriage, you’ll have the strength to endure because you asked God before you began.
This experience has taught me one of life’s greatest lessons: Never choose with your eyes alone. Beauty fades. Money comes and goes. But spiritual alignment lasts forever. Ask God to guide you. When you choose spiritually, every other thing you desire will follow.
Because the true role of marriage, as God says in the Bible, is: Husbands, love your wives. Wives, respect your husbands. Without this, everything else falls apart.
Thanks for reading.