Lately, I have been asking myself a question that refuses to go away, and it is about where my present lifestyle is taking me, especially financially, because while many things are happening around me, the financial part of my life is the one that keeps me restless and concerned. I'm really bothered but I struggle to clearly define what I need to do differently that will change my financial story for the better.
If there is one thing I was not properly taught or given the opportunity to understand, it is how to make money intentionally, how to handle it wisely when it comes, and how to maintain a wallet that grows instead of shrinks. I have always simply gone with the flow when it comes to my finances, spending as needs and wants arise without structure or discipline, and now I am beginning to see that this careless approach has cost me far more than I ever realized before, it's quite scary.
In the last few days, I have been studying and reflecting in a way I never truly did before, intentionally trying to unlearn the unhealthy attitude I developed about money and replace it with habits that can actually support growth and stability. What I have discovered has been uncomfortable because it forced me to admit how poorly I have managed my finances, and it is no surprise that I have no real savings, no investments, and only a growing list of bills.
This prompt came at the right time for me because it aligns with the questions I have already been wrestling with, especially the one that keeps repeating in my mind about how to change my money habits in a practical and lasting way. Before I can build something better, I have to be honest about what my spending habits currently look like, and the answer is bad.
If I am to describe my spending habits in one word, it would simply be bad, although there are many reasons I once used to justify them. I did not grow up understanding money in the right way, I carried a poor mindset about wealth and what it represents, and I have often operated from a survival mentality rather than a mindset focused on building lasting wealth. When I look at it from that perspective, it makes sense why my relationship with money has been that way.
The truth is that I cannot confidently give a detailed account of my earnings compared to my spending because I have not been tracking them carefully, and that lack of clarity has allowed me to continue spending without awareness or restraint. From rough calculations, it is evident that I have been spending more than I earn, and the consequences are slowly showing up now.
I have been reckless with my spending, and it has directly affected my finances by keeping me in a cycle where bills grow but my savings do not, and where I work hard but have little to show for it in terms of lasting value. Admitting to this is uncomfortable, yet it is also freeing for me because it gives me a starting point for change.
There is no need for excessive explanations or excuses because I already know the truth about my habits, and my next step is not only to learn how to make more money but to grow and preserve the money I make with intention and discipline. It may not be a comfortable journey, especially with principles like buying nothing unless it is truly necessary, but it is encouraging to believe that I can build financial freedom for myself with God guiding every step that I take.
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