*Image generated with Gemini*
Procrastination just like fear is a thief. The thing is, procrastination is also a symptom of fear and many times it has gotten the best of me. Yet, no one is perfect and many times I have heard stories from people close to me regarding one thing or the other they had missed out on because they procrastinated so much either as a result of fear or misdirection. As for me, there is only one thing I can vividly remember procrastination taking from me. I remember because it still happens every now and then, and since it is something that has to do with me as a person, it is very hard to forget.
When I procrastinate, I later beat myself up especially when I am caught up with last minute tasks. Sometimes, it gets so bad that I may break down. So, Procrastination always chips at a part of my confidence. Most times, I procrastinate not because I’m afraid but because I feel overwhelmed. A friend of mine years ago was so sure that it was PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) as we stayed together for a while because we did the same job in the same city. She pointed out that I displayed very strong flight responses to anything that causes me anxiety.
Last year, I went to say hello to a photographer friend of mine and then I had no idea how long had passed before I felt his hand on my leg. He proceeded to say that my leg had been bouncing for all the forty-five minutes we sat down. He then asked me if I had taken the ADHD test online and I quickly shot it down. I really can’t stand labels and if for every time I act out of character there is a label for me, I won’t grow as a person. It was like putting me in a box and clipping my wings, giving me an excuse to not mature. Always blaming my condition as the reason I couldn’t grow.
Anyway, the point is I tend to procrastinate when I feel overwhelmed. I could even be paralysed and then I would put off a task as minor as doing the dishes because it just felt too much. It has always been that way and by the time I got to doing it, I won’t feel any better but I feel worse. Somewhere at the back of mind, I believe that I did not give it my all simply because I put it off for a few hours or days. In the end, I’m unsure and feel my esteem dwindle by a lot. So, for that not to happen, I had to discipline myself to get stuff done no matter if I felt like it or not. It not only boosts my confidence but also leaves me in a great mood. I’m not perfect of course and find myself falling every now and then but still, I pick it up and get it done.
This is @deraaa responding to the 4th day of the Inleo initiative for the month of April.
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