Hello everyone, how are you? I hope you're all well. We'll be welcoming a new year soon. It feels like just yesterday. I want to reflect a little on this year. A year of endurance and surrender. How should I begin this story?
I want to take a deep breath and reflect on this year. It feels like a miracle I survived until the end of this year. At the beginning of the year, I felt mixed. Fighting healed everything and believing everything would be okay. At the end of last year, through a test at an institution and online consultations, I was diagnosed with depression.
It felt devastating, and I asked myself one question: What was I pursuing that led me to experience something like this? I lost my job (how this happened, I'll tell you in the next post). Then, I tried to recover through various activities.
It's hard remembering each of these events. I jumped in April, and everything felt heavy. Everything I had planned didn't go according to plan. At the same time, I started applying for scholarships. As a result, I failed to qualify. It feels like this year and the year before have been years where I had to come back to myself.
For a while, I got better, and then a little later, I started to sink back down. It's a mixed bag. I started healing with the Sedona Method, meditation, and somatic exercises. This helped me think about the present, slowly letting go of the accumulated emotional baggage.
This year seems to be the year I've forgiven many things. Forgiving all the bad events in my life, and the people who were involved in those bad memories. On the other hand, I'm grateful that I no longer run away with my emotions, bringing back my anger.
Until finally, today I realized I need to let go of things that aren't my responsibility. On the other hand, I'm also grateful to be alive today. Restarting my dreams and my life. Rebuilding my life one step at a time. It seems these three activities will become my routine activities going forward. That's all I can share. What do you think? See you in the next story.
My name is Nurdiani Latifah. I live in Jakarta – Indonesia, and after 25 years I live in Bandung. I am a media staff at an NGO in Indonesia. I have worked in this institution for almost 2 years on issues of women and peace. I have been a journalist in Bandung for 3 years.
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