It's the new year and apart from the new years fireworks and sparkling lights, there is one more thing flying up and down on social media, marriage fever. As much as it is the Christmas season and new year, this season is also a time for wedding celebrations. Everywhere I scroll, I can't help but see some pre-wedding photo shoot, couple anniversary picture, or two individuals getting engaged. Many couples, and soon to be married individuals seize this opportunity and merriment of the season to either throw a party, get engaged or get married.
While these can be sweet and very romantic, it can also put a lot of pressure on the single brothers and sisters out there who just want to enjoy their Christmas celebration in peace without the constant reminder from parents, family and loved ones on the fact that they are still yet to be married.
Honestly speaking, this season can become emotionally overwhelming for the single individuals out there who are constantly reminded everywhere on social media platforms, especially on instagram about their singlehood. The pressure can be quite overwhelming. Especially when you have a typical African parent constantly breathing down your neck. You can't pass by them without hearing things like, “When will I carry my grandchildren” or “You're not getting any younger, when will you get married?”
These speeches can be very triggering. And it doesn't end there. At family gatherings and get-togethers, it tends to get worse. Sometimes it would seem like your whole family and relations are ganging up against you. This can be very frustrating. And while we try to avoid dramas, smiling politely and silently nodding our heads, the pressure builds up slowly.
But come to think of it, what exactly is the rush for?
Marriage is indeed a beautiful thing. But it is also no child's play. It is a serious commitment that requires one's time, attention and dedication. It is not something one should rush or be forced into. In as much as this is the season for wedding celebrations, engagement parties and the likes, people need to understand that everyone's timeline is different. Because, your friend is getting married or all your friends have gotten married shouldn't put pressure on you. This goes for both my single fellows out there and also the African parents. The moment we start to understand that we all have different journeys and timeline in this life the better for us all.
Some people are lucky enough to find love early, and that's okay. While others may find theirs later in life and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. The important thing is, we will all get there at some point.
It's a shame to see that this marriage fever has forced the youths of this generation to end up with the wrong partner. The pressure has driven many people into wrong relationships. People now endure unhealthy relationships, ignore the many obvious red flags and go ahead to get married just to keep up, satisfy family or societal expectations.
But marriage is not a competition and it doesn't matter who gets there first. I’ve come to understand that peace of mind is far better than a life of pretense and unhappiness. So, to any single fellow reading this post, I want you to know that marriage is a beautiful thing that should be born out of love not pressure. Do not let family expectations sway you into anything. Your timeline is different.