Parenthood is more than claiming to be a mother or a father. The duty of a parent is more tasking than what we see; I got to understand this when I grew to be an adult. I always thought everything I enjoyed as a child was my right not knowing it's a privilege. Parenting is not an easy responsibility as humans are the most difficult to control. Imagining a family with five or seven children, training all five or seven of them to be a better individual in their journey of life I'd definitely not an easy task. In the process of a child's upbringing, many parents miss some spots that define the life of the children. Parents see this as the best they can do to make the children the better version of themselves, forgetting that they can't impose their desired lifestyle on them; they can only guide their children towards living right, leaving them to choose their parts themselves.
We have parents we refer to as being strict and disciplined. It's not bad to be strict, being too extreme about it is what I don't appreciate. There are parents whose children cannot sit together with them in the living room to watch the television or crack jokes. There are some their children can't talk to because of how strict they are, while some don't give their children listening ears. They believe children have no life of their own; they must do as their parents instructed, forgetting about the rule of individualism. Some parents never allowed their children to associate, all under the disguise of protection. It's good for parents to look out for their children; being overprotective is what I don't agree with.
How children are being treated or brought up plays a crucial role in describing their identity. Some children lose themselves in the process of being who their parents wanted them to be and not who they wished to be. In the long run, some children can realize who they are and then enjoy being themselves, while some lose themselves forever. Upbringing does affect children psychologically; that's one thing every parent has to understand.
As a child, the brain is fragile and might find it difficult to process some facts, but then as the child grows, he or she begins to see how life is somewhere else than what he or she is used to. Sometimes, this can be the genesis of some children's mental unhealthiness. The brain is programmed to adjust to whatever situation it's being used to and getting out of that into another personality can be a lot of trouble sometimes. As I said, some are lucky to find themselves, while some don't. While growing up, I had an upbringing that would have had a negative effect on my mental health, but I was glad my parents realized on time and made amendments.
While growing up, my parents were strict, I mean so strict. My lifestyle is a triangle, from home to church and to school. I didn't engage in any activities, nor was I allowed to associate. I do not have a mobile phone, I was shut out of the world. I was not close to my parents; I found it difficult to open up to them as they were just too overprotective and didn't give me a chance for friendship. I am always in my room, reading or sleeping. I dare not come home with a result taking less than 3rd position. Anything aside, 3rd, it's a punishment that will go on for hours. I read like that was the end of life. Throughout my secondary school, I had no mobile phone. I don't go to gatherings, nor was anyone allowed to visit me.
They see me as touchy, not in my neighborhood then, nobody talks or relates with me. If I'm sent on an errand and come back late due to one reason or the other, I am in big trouble. It contributed to my being introverted; I'm sure if I had the freedom from childhood, I would definitely not be an introvert. In a week, the only time I stepped out of my gate was to school or church. My parents buy things in bulk, so most times, I have no reason to go outside my house to buy anything. You can imagine that kind of lifestyle and how it shaped my life. I hardly smile; nothing seems funny to me, even when others are laughing so loud that I wonder what is funny.
When my friends are sharing their experiences at school, I'm always quiet, wondering about what kind of planet I'm living on. That began to affect me psychologically, and even at home, I talk less. I'm always quiet and secluded, I began to derive pleasure in being alone. After secondary school, when I was to put in for higher institution, I guessed my parents had noticed the change in me, or they thought it was time to cut me some slacks. Then they began this new atmosphere where we all sat to talk and play. By then I wasn't interstellar because that was not what I grew to know. They always wanted me to talk, share my feelings with them, and ask for my opinion, but I never wanted to do any of them. I was enjoying my loneliness.
They noticed that it wasn't working, and then they began taking us out. I was the first child so it hit me more than my siblings. It was that time they opened the mall in my state then, sometimes we visited the mall four times a week. With this, I began to loosen up a bit. I was now allowed to go out if I requested, though, with some stern warnings and a stipulated time to return home. Although I didn't use that to my advantage, I still prefer being indoors to associating with people. If my parents hadn't changed at that time, I'm sure I wouldn't be who I am today. My case might have been worse than a sadist, and having the opportunity to be outside my parent's home, I would have gotten the opportunity to get myself involved in things that might have ruined my life by now.
Although their strict upbringing had an effect on me psychologically yet it impacted my life positively. They were able to change which shaped my life to be who I am today. I was able to find myself before losing it. I am lucky but some aren't as privileged as I am. It's good for parents to be strict but not overdo it in a way that will ruin the lives of their children in the long run. Preserving our mental health is much more important; it should be prioritized to enjoy living to its fullness.
Thanks for your time and your comments will be appreciated.