At some times, I sit by myself and question myself, "What the hell am I doing here? No, I don’t ask this question to myself in a sad manner, but in a wondering manner. Life is so fast that we do not even think about its meaning. We only continue to chase after things like grades, jobs, money or people. Yet there is that wondering voice inside all of us therefore that will just keep whispering, who are you, really?
I used to believe that I had to be what the people were asking me to be. I was attempting to make myself part of their interpretation of success, smiling when I did not feel like smiling. However, the fact is that faking it is depleting. And you become lost in all that noise; you become loss of the real you. And it is then that I figured out that finding meaning in life does not lie in doing what the rest of the crowd are up to, and it is in learning to be yourself when all the other stuff is distanced.
The real me isn't perfect. I become confused, I think too much, I make errors. But I am also a person, who loves, who is too emotional, and who dreams even in the moments when life should weigh heavily. That's not weakness. That's being human. And perhaps the sense of life is simply this, to live truthfully, to experience passionately, and to be what the world makes you think you should not be.
There are times that it is difficult to find me because it is like walking in fog. I do not realize where I am heading, but I continue to move forward. One thing after another begins to make sense, not because I dedicated everything, but because I no longer pushed things to reach a conclusion. I have been taught to choose not to be in a hurry but patience is the key to growth and not perfection, but to be truthful brings peace.
Then, just in case you are also looking to find the real you, you should not hurry. You do not need to have it all straightened out. Instead, you can just begin to listen, your thoughts, feelings, and the heart. You have always had the real that has been lingering waiting to be observed.
It is perhaps not the big moment that satisfies the meaning of life. Perhaps it is concealed in small things, in a late-night talk, in rainy-walks, in some chance smile. All those minute things that awaken your feeling of life are yourself.
And that is what I am learning each and every day life does not have a meaning somewhere out there. And it is here, inside of me.